Lifestyle Experiment - January - Routine Maintenance

I'm excited to shake things up in different areas of my life each month and I've come up with several different Lifestyle Experiments I'd like to try over the course of the next year.  

Some are things I have never attempted, others I've tried in the past and either had little success or fallen flat on my face.

I don't like to fail. I don't even like doing "ok" at things. I tend to be pretty hard on myself when I do. Beating myself up is one of the many "skills" I've acquired that I'm slowly learning to let go.

My challenge for January isn't the least bit exciting, remarkable sexy, or innovative but it is something that I know I can accomplish. It's always good to start off on the right foot and this month will get me set up to succeed in whatever awesome things I decide to do in the coming months.

Morning and Nightly Rituals

In order to establish and maintain cadence and help me to achieve balance in my life I am going to open and close each day doing the same things.

5 things each morning and the same 5 things in reverse order each night.

Pray

 

Start Drinking Water

 

Meditation & Affirmations

 

Body Weight Exercises

 

Read

 

The alarm is set for 7:00 every day. Snooze is not an option and I have to get started right away. It doesn't matter if I'm sleeping in my own bed or somewhere else.

I'll probably spend the first week or so experimenting with how I do the bedtime routine. It's important to me to spend time with my wife each night after our kids go do bed. They are normally in bed at 8:30 and asleep 15 minutes later. I might do some things with her I might do it alone. I might do some things while we watch a movie. Who knows... However it happens I'm in bed by 10:30

I'm not giving myself a set time period for each step in the process but always in the same order. Some days I'll spend longer on one thing and less on another. I'm shooting for 30 - 45 minutes.

I am giving myself the option to make adjustments only if they are in order to improve upon what I'm starting with. I can never adjust based on lack of motivation or other excuses.

Over the next week I'll write quick posts explaining why I have chosen each activity as an essential element to open and close my day.

 

Happy 2015!

 

 

 

2015 - A Wonderful, Awful Idea

My head hit the pillow last night around 10:30. I was beat!

Lately I have had a very difficult time falling asleep. I've got a lot on my mind. Some nights I try to go to sleep at the same time my wife does. Other nights I know I am going to toss and turn for and hour, get out of bed and wander around the house, work on a project or something else. Netflix is the devil when you cant sleep.

But this night was different. I could feel it. I was going to be asleep in 5 minutes tops.

NOPE!

I got an idea, an awful idea, a wonderful, awful idea...

One of those ideas that just wont go away and won't let you sleep.

I am a big fan of experiments of all kinds.

The other night my kids and I did a fun one. Boil some red cabbage, eat the cabbage for dinner and save the water. It will be a deep blue color. pour in some vinegar and see what happens.

Try it!

The experiment that kept me up past midnight is a bit different.

Yesterday I had been thinking a lot about the "Packing Party" I'm coming to the tail end of. I have been amazed by how few items I have actually needed the past 6 weeks. I started to wonder what else I could do to further improve my life...

This train of thought brought me to the idea.

I am going to do a different lifestyle experiment every month in 2015. I will focus on specific areas of my life where I feel I've been struggling and try to shake things up a bit. Possibly things like sleep habits, fitness, nutrition, spirituality, social life, parenting, minimalism.....anything.

At the end of each month I will report on how the experiment went, decide if I want to continue on with whatever change I had made, and let you know what I will be doing the next month.

I have a couple weeks to decide on January's adventure. I don't have anything in mind yet for the first experiment so I better get cracking.

If you have any thoughts on what I could do for one of these experiments I'd love to hear them.

Packing Party Part 4 - 1 Week In

I've been working in my new space for a full week now. It has been an amazing experience.

Early on in the week I was listening to a podcast while I was working and heard a quote that really spoke to me. This is renaissance artist Michelangelo's response when he was asked how he was able to carve his statue of David.

"It is easy, you just chip away the stone that doesn't look like David."

This is such an accurate description of my past week. Over the past few years I have been struggling to de-clutter and purge my life. This packing party has been a huge step forward and has given my life more meaning and new perspective. It has been amazing to be able to focus and thrive in this new environment.

Yes, I know, I still own all the junk behind the curtain. But I'm not focusing on that for the moment. when the time comes I will tackle that monster.

For now, It's time to check in with another short video.

Packing Party Part 3 - Clean Slate

The packing is done and its time to party! I'm excited to show you my clean slate.

 

I need to learn how to edit video!

My home office never looked better. Not even on the day we moved in. Its going to be an interesting experience as I mindfully bring only those things into the space that add value to my life and the work I do.

Packing Party Part 2 - Checking In

I started the packing party bright and early this morning and have been able to make some good progress. Still a lot of work to do. Yes, I am wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday.

Packing Party Part 1 - Packing Day Eve - Current State or The Disaster

I thought I would kick off this weeks festivities with a look at the current state of my attic office.

Enter at your own risk!

At first I thought about cleaning things up a little bit and making the place presentable for the video but that doesn't tell the actual story. I plan on doing all my videos unscripted and unforgiving. I didn't even watch this one before I uploaded it.

 

Its a long video but I wanted to give you a good idea how much junk I have up in this one small room. Which is crazy because I have already done so much purging.

 

So tomorrow is the day. See you then!

It's Time to Party! - Grab the Boxes.

 

I first heard about the "Packing Party" while watching a youtube video from a guy named Ryan Nicodemus. He and his friend Joshua Fields Millburn have dubbed themselves The Minimalists. They run a blog by that name and have written several books, and essays and regularly speak at events like TED.

After watching Ryan's video I have come across several other people who have done packing parties of their own. Each has their own variations but the idea is simple and effective.

Here are the basics of the Packing Party.

1- Box everything up as if you were moving. Be quick but systematic. Group like items and label boxes so you can find things. When you get to the off season items keep them together. No "moving day panic packing". If you identify things that you know right away you can do without get rid of them! Sell, donate, gift, trash. No reason to keep them in the mix.

2- Throw sheets over larger items like furniture that you absolutely know you will be using.

3- Clear it all out and start with a clean slate. Take some time to observe and appreciate the space.

4- As you determine that you need or really, really want an item go get it and find a home for it.

5- As you retrieve items refrain from grabbing other things by default just because you see them. Wait until you specifically need them.

6- Continue going through this process and you will find yourself opening up boxes less and less often. When you feel you have reached that point mark the calendar and live in your new space for a pre-determined length of time (3 weeks - 2 months, whatever feels right to you).

7- Now that you've had this time to settle in and enjoy the new found freedom from excess it's time to open up the boxes. Hopefully your perspective on life and possessions will have changed a bit by now and you can look at each item in a truly subjective way to determine if you really want it in your life.

8- Take a look at your before pictures and video and reflect on how things have changed. Think about how different areas of your life have improved by making this change. Commit yourself to maintaining this new found awesomeness.



So why haven't I already done this?

I've been on this path to simplicity for a few years now and have been through several cycles of purging and uncluttering. I've seen the difference in my life each time I have eliminated a box of baggage and felt more free to move forward to the present and future.

The biggest thing holding me back to this point has been fear. Fear of drastic change. Fear of letting go of or dealing with some things. But the biggest fear.... seeing my true self emerge for the first time In years without all the excess.

I'm really looking forward to this change and know it will be a very positive thing for myself and my family. But my fear is because I don't know that person anymore. The last time I remember truly feeling like myself was 10 years ago while doing missionary service in Spain. Everything I owned fit into 2 bags and I loved it.

Why now?

I've thought about throwing a Packing Party a few times in the past but never had the level of motivation / frustration to actually make it happen. This past month or so has been a very humbling time for me. Dealing with the loss of my Grandpa has been rough. I've been a wreck. I have been extremely on edge and irritable and I've said harsh words to my wife and children. Last week I realized a critical oversight I had made on one of my home design projects.... 3 months ago! This has led to several days of toxic self talk running through my head. I'm a fake, I'm worthless. I'm not a good person...

I'm not one for excuses. I'm pretty good at owning up to my mistakes and doing whatever is necessary to fix the problem. But this person I've been, this monster I've given into for the past several years, is not me. So who do I blame? Who is the culprit?

CLUTTER!

Yes I know, I've been the master builder of my mountain of madness so I'm not completely passing the buck here. But to an extent I've just been following The Script. Accumulating the things I'm "supposed to have". Combine that with my inherent absent mindedness and chronic disorganization and you get a ticking time bomb.

This experience has been more than enough incentive to take it to the next level and give myself a fighting chance. I'm excited, overwhelmed, scared, and optimistic all in one.

Packing Party

Thursday, October 30th 6:00 AM

You're Invited!

No, I'm not asking or suggesting that you wake up early to come help my box up my junk. I'm inviting / challenging you to have your own Packing Party. Do a room, a single drawer, or your whole house. Whatever works for you. Try it out!

This Thursday I'm going to wake up early and get started. Clothing, office supplies, photos and other things on the wall are all getting boxed up. I know it is going to take a while and I have to get some work done so I'll do a couple more hours that afternoon and finish up Halloween morning. My goal is to have the space completely cleared out for when I start the day on November 1st.

I plan on posting a video and probably some photos of before I get started so you can see my current space. I'll do more over the next several weeks as my space takes shape.

Broken Zipper Memories

Each step I have taken towards simplifying my life I have noticed myself really enjoying what I decide to hold on to.

I love fall weather and the fall season in general. It brings back so many amazing memories both recent and distant. I love the crisp air and changing colors. It's what I call jacket weather. This past week the temperature has been dropping right along with the leaves. Time to put away the summer clothes and pull out the colder weather clothing.

There's one item I didn't have to pull out.

My grey hooded jacket.

It is probably my favorite piece of clothing and has been a 4 season favorite since I found it on a clearance rack probably 8 years ago. It fits perfect and is just the right thickness to keep me warm but not sweaty.

I have developed a kind of existential relationship with this simple jacket. Even more so the past few years as I have focused more on simplicity and living a meaningful life.

Date nights with my beautiful wife, camping trips, helping my brothers do renovation work on their homes, raking leaves with my kids... So many great memories live in this jacket.

My jacket is slowly beginning to die. The zipper pull broke this past spring and the elbows are wearing thin. It is still very comfortable, and still serves its purpose, but probably not for much longer.

I know the memories aren't really a part of the jacket and won't fade when its gone. After all its just a jacket. But it is nice to have things that hold special significance.

 

What hold special significance for you?

Grandpa - The Man Who Flew and Knew

Every other Sunday we make the 1 hour drive from Heber City to South Jordan to visit family.

Sunday visits have been a tradition for us since we were married almost 9 years ago. It's great to spend time with parents and siblings and for our kids to be able to run around with their cousins.

We stopped at Ali's parents house first and had some great corn chowder and garden fresh veggies (I love harvest season food). Then on to my parents house for our nieces birthday party.

We had just finished singing Happy Birthday when my mom answered a phone call. She listened for a few seconds trying to hear over the party noise and walked into the back room. A moment later the party went silent as we heard cries of sadness and pain from the other room.

Instantly my heart sank, my throat turned to concrete, and tears filled my eyes. No words were needed, I knew exactly what had happened. My dad took over on the phone speaking in calm tones that I couldn't quite decipher.

After a couple minutes that seemed like an hour my parents came back into the room. My dad composed himself and told us all that my Grandpa Sugden, my mom's dad, had passed away. Emotion filled the room as hugs and tears were shared.

My parents had to leave quickly to go meet the police at my grandparents house. The siblings, spouses and all our kids did the best we could to finish up the party and clean up the house so my parents wouldn't have to worry about the mess when they returned.

As we made our way home I started to think about my Grandpa and all the memories I have of him.

Robert David Sugden

Grandpa was a pilot. He loved to fly. He also loved to build model airplanes. We visited my grandparents a lot when I was growing up and I spent countless hours down in Grandpa's basement watching him build planes and screwing up a few of my own.  I wish I had a picture to share because that basement is an amazing place. Hundreds of planes, large and small hung from the walls and from the ceiling like stalactites. The ultimate Man Cave! Some had gas engines, most were powered by rubber bands but they all flew. What's the point of an airplane that doesn't fly?

Grandpa taught me the physics of flight. Why wings are shaped the way they are. Why weight distribution and wing trim were so important. He taught me how impatience ruins everything.

My grandpa taught me a lot about a lot of things. The thing he taught me that has had the greatest life changing impact was that a persons intelligence and education can not be measured by their level of schooling or by how many fancy letters they get to put behind their name. There are a lot of idiots with college degrees.

He was one of the smartest people I have had the privilege of knowing. In addition to being a pilot he was an inventor, a machinist, a mechanic, a welder...... If he wanted to do something he would teach himself how. He would either read, watch something, or just figure the damned thing out on his own.

Grandpa had a High School Diploma.

The funeral was scheduled for that Thursday. My brother Adam was asked to speak at the memorial service on behalf of all the grandkids. He my siblings, cousins and I to share with him some of my best memories of grandpa that he could use when he spoke. My mind had already been working on this for a few days and I had a lot to share.


At the service several people spoke. My grandpas grandson, younger brother, and a life long friend were a few of those who paid awesome tribute to his life. While each had a different relationship and had different memories and shared different stories of this amazing man's life there was a very powerful and consistent theme to all the words shared.

Grandpa loved to fly, he loved to build things, and he loved to learn.

 

I was amazed yet not at all surprised that so many people had learned the same valuable lesson from my grandpa. If you want to do something do it. If you don't know how, TEACH YOURSELF!

I struggled in school big time. All the way from elementary school and through high school and college. Somehow I always managed to pull off good grades and even ended up on the honor roll a few times. I learned the concepts. I did the work and I passed. but it was HELL!

For me (and so many others who are wired a bit different) classroom education is agonizing. It is slow and tedious and inefficient. In contrast I loved classes where I could get up and move around. to be actively engaged physically and mentally. P.E., pottery, print shop, and art classes were amazing. on a couple occasions I was so into my woodshop projects that I only realized that I had worked through the bell and an entirely different class period when the lights when off and I was asked to leave the shop.

I enrolled in college immediately after high school. The first couple semesters were amazing. I was taking classes that inspired me and allowed me to use and develop skill sets that were important and applicable to things I was actually interested in. I impulsively enrolled in nonsense classes that had nothing to do with my degree but I found interesting. I was soaring and had almost perfect grades.

Then it hit me.

I had been focusing on and enrolling in only the program specific courses in my architectural degree. and some expensive "play time". The next required classes had something called "prerequisites"

???

My next semester I had nothing but general courses like math, a strange civics course, and some class about how to get along with co-workers and say the right things to your boss.

Initiate self destruct sequence in 5...4...3...2...1...

Over the next 11 years - 2 years of missionary service = 9 painful years I struggled through 2 classes per semester night school (where the instructors really don't want to be there and finish class early half the time). I bombed classes where I knew and understood the material I just couldn't get into it.

OK... Brandon is crazy! Where is he going with this and what does it have to do with his Grandpa?

In 2011 It dawned on me that I didn't HAVE TO do this. I realized that I just plain didn't care to finish. I didn't need or even want that magic piece of paper that said I was smart. I knew I was and that I was learning way more on my own and from life and having an amazing time doing it.

I though of Grandpa as I made the deliberate decision to drop all my classes mid semester just a few credits shy of finally finishing. Yeah, it was frustrating and I was mad at myself for investing so much time and $ in something and not see it through. I felt free and empowered to focus my energy on things that mattered. To spend more time with my family and pursue my passions.

I am not knocking education in any form. It is a vital part of our society. There are so many avenues to receive knowledge expand our possibilities. It is maddening that so much of our society views an academic degree as the only valid measure of a persons intelligence.

In my past life as an employee I was a part of several interviewing panels where we met with dozens of applicants to fill different positions. I remember sitting down to talk with so many amazingly talented, innovative, experienced, qualified, and interesting people were turned down based on their "lack of education". Complete bonehead psychos ended up getting hired because their resumes looked good.

I am so grateful that more and more people, businesses, and organizations are recognizing there is more to a persons intelligence and capacity than letters attached to their name or an overpriced piece of paper .

I think we stand a chance.



Thank you Grandpa for teaching me the value of education. For being an amazing example of what is possible when we question everything and learn for ourselves. Thank you for Burning the Script!

I love you and will miss you until we meet again.

Lessons from the Trail(s) - Foolish Expectations

I'm long overdue on my adventure report. Please don't fail me.

If you are my friend on Facebook you have probably caught how each of these adventures went. They were difficult and amazing. I will remember them forever.

Before leaving for my Uintas Highline trip I had every intention of telling you all about it as soon as I got back. I wanted to share how awesome it was and I actually had a lot of the post drafted in my head based on my expectations for the trip and the parallels backpacking has with simplicity.

That all changed as my parents decided not to join us on the first day of hiking so they wouldn't get stuck in the mud from the incoming storm on the drive out (good call Dad). It all changed as my brothers and I hiked through unseasonal rain, snow, and slop we were not prepared for (I was wearing my trail running shoes). It all changed when I realized that my homemade dehydrated meals didn't want to re-hydrate. It all changed when I didn't get to pull out my ultra light fishing gear once because we spent so much time seeking shelter. It all changed as I watched my older brother (one of my real heroes) forge ahead the last few days even though each step was agony to his wounded leg. It all changed when we realized our trip would be cut short and a group of new friends invited us to join them down the frozen mountain.

It was an amazing adventure. Better than I had could possibly imagine it would be.

I didn't know how to write about this experience. I thought about it for weeks but didn't know what to say that would do it justice.

As the date of my trail run got closer and closer my thoughts shifted to the run and my training. Was I ready? How would I do? How would the weather be? I had memorized the course on my training runs and knew where I needed to take it easy and where I could open up. It was going to be great!

I started doing the same thing I had done before the Uintas trip. Mentally drafting a blog post based on my expectations for this run. I've learned so much about myself this past year during my training runs and saw so many parallels with the life I want to live. I knew just what to share.

That all changed as I arrived at the starting line and got chills at the sight of how many people were there on the same quest for insanity I was. It all changed as I became frustrated to not be able to run at my own pace for the first several miles as we ran single file. It all changed as I watched people trip over roots and rocks, fall on their faces and get back up again. It all changed 16 miles in as I felt my own body shutting down just before the biggest climb of the course. It all changed as I talked with 2 soldiers who ran the entire 27 miles (Yes, I found out the course was a bit longer than expected) carrying an American flag in honor of fallen friends. And it all changed when I rounded the final turn and saw my beautiful wife and 3 incredible kids cheering me on.

I had planned something funny to do as I crossed the finish line but that changed as I was able to cross with my daughter and son.

It was an amazing run and finish. Better than I could possibly imagine it would be.

Neither adventure met my goals and expectations. We didn't hike 80 miles and I didn't make sub 5 hour on the run. But I wasn't disappointed. I had so many incredible experiences that I could not have prepared for.

I started this blog because I felt I had something important to share. I wanted to reach as many people I could hoping my words might inspire a few to make positive changes in their lives. Because of that goal of reaching a large audience I held back on the original premise of my writing. I edited my writing to appeal more to a larger audience.

I was wrong in doing this. I am sorry.

My personal experience has been a very spiritual one. I feel my family and I have been guided on the trail to a more simple life. Things have happened that I can not explain. We have been blessed in so many ways as our new life has unfolded. Often in ways we never could have planned on our own.

We have basically handed our life over to a bigger plan. For some this may seem contrary to the idea of Burning the Script. I feel it fits seamlessly. While we are actively engaged in the pursuit of a more simple and fulfilling life we are trying every day to become more open and in tune to receive direction and inspiration.

Regardless of belief or background we all have some type of relationship with the spiritual. It may be a deity, or the universe, or something that exists within yourself. Whatever that may be each of us at particular moments in life feels guided and directed to do certain things and live a certain way.

I myself am Christian. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. (Yes, The Mormons) I believe in a God who loves me as his son and wants me to grow up to be like him. I believe that I have an older brother named Jesus who looks out for me like big brothers do. They want me to live an awesome life. They want my family and I to achieve and experience the best this life has to offer. I know that a key to unlocking this potential is simplicity.

This guiding force is what I have been editing out of my writing. It's why my posts have been sporadic.  It's why some of my writing has felt fake to me. It's why some posts have remained unpublished. It's why you haven't gotten the full story. I plan on editing parts of posts I have already published. (I'll make edits in a different color so you can easily see what I held back and let you know when changes are made).

As I bring in this element of spirituality I hope to create a very open, non-denominational community. My goal isn't for this to simply become a "Mormon Simplicity Blog". I will refer to text from all sources that inspire me. Because of my own beliefs and background most of this will probably come from what I am familiar with. I invite you share from sources that inspire you personally in comments and guest posts.

I also plan to stop linking to my posts on my personal facebook page. Only on the blogger site and the Burning the Script facebook page. If you haven't already joined that page please do and invite others to join as well.

From now on I promise not to hold back. I will share each experience and bit of awesomeness for what it really is. I realize that this may be a turnoff for some of you which is unfortunate. But I have to be true to myself and what I am experiencing. I have also realized that what I am trying to share is a lot bigger than I will ever be and that I need help. I know that making this adjustment will allow this blog to be what it should be. Better than I could possibly imagine it would be.

Thanks again.
Brandon

Why So Serious? You Need Adventure!

I'm alive.

No, I haven't quit writing this blog. I've actually been thinking a lot about it.

Since my last entry I have completed 2 new posts but in each case I decided not to hit publish. It's not that I wasn't excited about the topics or that I didn't like how they had turned out. Both are written about things I am very passionate about and I put a lot of thought into drafting, reviewing, and revising posts that would do them justice. I'm not a "real" writer, but they are REAL.

The timing wasn't right.

After my 5 part Right Sizing post my writing started to deviate from the goal of sharing my own experiences on the path to simplicity. I saw my focus shifting to a few of the big frustrations I have with society.

Have I had time to write something different? Of course, there's always time. I have been focused this past month on preparing for 2 adventures that I've been looking forward to for a very long time. 2 adventures with very strong roots in the simplicity I hope to share here.

My first adventure begins tomorrow morning. I will drive for 4 hours with my parents and 2 of my brothers to the trailhead of the Uinta's Highline Trail. Dad and Mom will join us for the sendoff party. They will hike the first 10 miles or so camp over night then leave with the car keys in the morning. Over the next 8 days we will travel with the sun for 80 miles. We will pass by hundreds of beautiful lakes, climb the highest elevation in the state of Utah, and eventually make it to the getaway car near Mirror Lake.

I have never been on a backpacking trip longer than 3 days, 2 nights. I haven't had to worry too much yet about the weight of each item I am going to take, packing enough food but not too much, and being mentally prepared for this lengthy an expedition. I've never done anything like it really. I've learned a lot about myself just in preparing. I'm excited to see what the journey brings.

The second adventure will take place on Saturday, September 13th. I will be running the Mid Mountain Marathon in Park City. My first trail marathon.

Last year I ran the Herriman Oquirrh Mountain Trail Half Marathon. Looking back on it the course was horrible (a small single track section, mostly dirt and gravel roads, and a few miles of pavement at the end) but I loved it.

This run will be so much better.

I have been training on the trails close to home at Dutch Hollow and Wasatch Mountain State Park. My longer runs have been in Park City. I've run the entire race course in segments and covered a big portion of the rest of the mountain. I really struggled twice on 17 mile runs and felt defeated. I ditched some bad advice about nutrition and training and felt much better during and after my 20 mile run this past Saturday.

A few years ago I never would have imagined myself doing things like this. It's not that I wouldn't want to do these things. I didn't have the right motivation. I guess my motivation was there all the time I was just blind to it. It's amazing how stripping away life's excess allows you to see life for what it really is, see others as they are, and see yourself in new ways every day.

I'm always doing things I can't do, that's how I get to do them.
Pablo Picasso

Infirmary Exodus - The Cure is Simple

The week and a half since my last post has been filled with family activities, hundreds of miles of driving, getting caught up on projects, a 17 mile trail run (my personal non-pavement distance record) and being sick, SICK, SICK!

I'm lucky to not get sick very often but when I do it hits me like a freight train and is gone just as quick. The advice to "take it easy and get plenty of rest" doesn't work for me. I go mental! I must have been abducted by aliens as a child because my wiring often goes against all logic. When I'm sick or feeling down I have to be active and power through. I think this drives my wife insane. She wants me to slow down and let her take care of me. I want to clean the entire house and go fishing.

This episode of Sick Man is brought to you by my 17 mile run.

I wasn't prepared for it. I had done my mileage and was ready for the distance. With all our activities and go-go-go, I have been eating a lot of foods my body isn't used to. Not sleeping in the same bed more than 2 nights in a row has definitely taken it's toll as well. My immune system as been compromised and I've been down for the count.

A lot of this down time has been spent reflecting on the story that I've shared with you so far. It has been interesting to look back on the last few years and be reminded of the experiences we have had.

I have been overwhelmed with gratitude as I've had the opportunity to talk to several people who have been following this blog. It's great to have so many people from our new Heber Valley community show interest. It has been humbling to hear powerful stories from other people on similar journeys, receive feedback about what I am writing, and answer some of the questions you have.

A few of these questions have given me a lot to think about. I've wanted to share some of this with you but haven't known the best way to go about it. The past few days of feeling like trash have helped me pull my thoughts together.

From time to time everyone gets sick. We get sick for different reasons and handle it in very different ways. Some people (myself included) deny the fact they aren't doing well and try to proceed with life as best they can. Others medicate. They throw down heavy doses of Airborne, decongestants, pain meds and pass out. Others take it easy. They might have a movie marathon and eat soup.

Casting aside the obvious pros and cons of each method of getting there we all want to feel better. We have different thoughts on how to make it happen. A lot if this is based on how we were raised, and information we are given from family, friends

The truth is, most of us have been sick in a different way. And strangely enough it's because we have followed the doctor's orders.

We have been sticking to THE SCRIPT.

Society is a cruel practitioner. It would have us believe that spending our time, energy, and resources in pursuit of things that just don't matter is an honorable thing. Slaving away in jobs that don't inspire or challenge us in order to afford oversized houses filled with "stuff" that we don't really need or care about is something to strive for. That the worth of a person is somehow measured by the emblems on their vehicles or the tags sewn into and embossed on what they wear. That in our endless drive to upgrade and replace we make ourselves blind to those in need.

This is a prescription for disaster.

Just like eating Popeye's chicken and getting 5 1/2" hours sleep the night before a long run made me sick, feeding our lives this load of bull is killing us. Which areas of the world have the highest rates of cancer, diabetes, stress, depression, anxiety.....? It's those countries and regions who are said to have the "highest standard of living". Sadly, The United States of America is at or near the top of every list.

More primitive areas of the world have their own epidemics and challenges to overcome. Millions of people die each year from hunger and disease. What's the difference? Their suffering is brought on by environment and lack of resources. Most of ours can be attributed to our chosen lifestyle of excess.

So what IS the cure?

SIMPLICITY

I am not suggesting that everyone quit (or get themselves fired from) their jobs, sell everything they own, and live in the woods subsiding on pine nuts and wild salmon. Many people live this type of life and absolutely love it. It would be amazing and I would do it for a month or 2 but then I would start to miss other things I am passionate about. I think most people would.

The prescription for SIMPLICITY looks different to each person. SIMPLICITY means trimming the fat on life. SIMPLICITY means saying no to some things in order to say YES to others. SIMPLICITY means not missing out on spending time with people we love because we are too busy catching up on social media. SIMPLICITY means declining the overtime hours so we can make it to our kids soccer game. SIMPLICITY means....

What would a life of SIMPLICITY look like to you?

 

How would you live MORE?

I really want to know. Please share.

Right Sizing - Part 5 - Making the Move, Outside the Box

Over the next few days all I could think about was this little, old, decrepit house up in Heber. I had already been getting only 4 to 5 hours of sleep each night and this made it worse. I couldn't get it out of my mind. What was it about this house? Why did it "feel right"!?!?

We decided to make a low offer and see what happened. We looked at the potential value of the home after repairs and updates and the estimated cost to make these things happen. If we did it right we would still come out very well.

The response came quickly. They accepted the offer and we were under contract.

Once again my mind was off to the races. Time to design. Time to plan. Time to pack. Time to move. Oh no! Were we doing the right thing? Were we absolutely insane!

During the due-diligence period I had people come out to inspect the home and provide estimates to do the necessary structural work. Because the house was built on 3 separate foundations and was settling in every direction it would be very difficult  to stabilize it. Because of the way the structure was pulled together there was also a good chance this movement would cause it to crumble.

The cost to try? An estimated $60,000!

This was only cost to lift the house, pour a proper foundation and lower it back down. No additional renovations and updates included and no guarantees we would even have a house left standing.

Best Case Scenario: Lifting the house would go without any major problems. We would be smart about the other renovations and the project would be completed within budget.

Worst Case Scenario: The lift fails. We are out an additional 60k are left with a condemned old house and no place to stay.

At this point everything screamed to cut our losses and once again RUN. But, as crazy as it may sound, this option still didn't feel right. But what other options were there? Because of the structural state of the home and cost to correct it there was no real value in the building itself.

But the land was incredible. A large lot in the center of town with beautiful mature trees. There was so much potential to create an amazing place for our family to live, grow, and create memories.

What if....? No way, it would never work... Scratch that idea... They would never go for it... It's a waste of time...

What if we were to somehow reduce our offer to reflect only the value of the land?

We could live in the house for a while then demo the existing and build new. It would end up costing less than the possible disaster project and we would have the house we really wanted. We could even salvage the original cabin structure and other materials rebuild it as part of the new home. We could preserve history and have an amazing house with a story.

But could it even be done at this point in our contract?

It was time to ask the real-estate agent (Dad). He said it could definitely be done. It was a long shot but we decided to go for it. We did some digging to determine the market value of the land. We put together documentation from my inspections and construction estimates to support the true value of the property. He put together an addendum to adjust the price and we crossed our fingers.

IT WORKED!

We paid cash from the sale of our monster house and closed on the property.

Over the next month we got the house ready for our family. We cleared out mountains of artifacts from the homes previous life. We swept and mopped and scrubbed out years of nasty. I spent my weekends camped out at the house making small repairs and making 3 bedrooms out of 2 (more on this later).

On December 28, 2013 we once again loaded the 26 foot UHAUL and headed East on I-80.

6 months later we are settling into an amazing new life. We have really enjoyed getting to know our new community and have met some amazing people. I work from home and spend a lot more time with my family. We go on hikes, we fish, we read, we run. We have our chickens, our garden, and a garage that is slowly clearing out (maybe one day we will actually use it for vehicles).

The house is not perfect. It smells weird. There is no storage space. It was drafty in the winter and is getting hotter each day this summer. But it works. It's an adventure.

We will build when we are ready and it makes sense. For now, we are 100% debt free and are loving the freedom of this simplicity.

Right Sizing - Part 4 - The Tree Hugger in Me

Letting the contract expire on the Copperton house was a hard thing for me to do. I had a lot of time invested in the renovation design and the logistics of making everything work out. My dad (our real-estate agent) had dedicated countless hours to dealing with the crazies on the other end of the deal. I really wanted it to work out. It felt like the right move for our family, It just wasn't happening.

We started looking again. This time we had different goals, purpose and vision. We wanted a place that would better suit the needs and evolving lifestyle of our family. Copperton is definitely a beautiful place, but it has recently become more of a subdivision than a true neighborhood community. It does have an amazing park, a post office, a fire station and churches but the schools, markets and other businesses had been either torn down or closed up shop. We wanted a more sustainable community. We wanted to be closer to things we needed. We wanted to be in an area with good schools for our kids. We wanted for a large garden and a chicken run.

We quickly realized that the homes meeting this criteria in the Salt Lake valley did not allow us to meet our other goal of reducing our monthly mortgage responsibility. So we expanded our search to Utah and Davis Counties and even looked a little in Weber County.

We were planning a trip down to look at some homes in American Fork and Springville when a house in Heber City came up on the radar. I almost ignored the listing but decided to check it out. It had potential and was priced right so we added it to the list.

After driving down to check out the homes in Utah County we made the trip up Provo Canyon. As we rounded the south side of Deer Creek Reservoir we hit a horrible bumper to bumper traffic jam. Kids don't like being stuck in a car and neither do I. We almost turned back a few times but stuck with it and eventually pulled up to the house.

My first impression was WOW! This is it! If you know me well you know that I LOVE TREES. And this house had them. Moving from a brand new neighborhood with about 2 trees I felt like I was in a forest. The house was classic, plain, and simple. No frills but tons of charm and character.

As soon as we walked through the front door we noticed something strange. The floor in the front room had a very noticeable slope from one end to the other. Probably 3 inches overall. It was like one of those old V8 Juice commercials where everyone is walking sideways. 

We had seen the listing pictures so we knew that the Kitchen, flooring and paint would all need to be re-done so we were prepared for that. But the structure didn't make sense.  There were areas with 18" thick walls and small steps between rooms.

I climbed up the steep stairway to the attic. This low ceiling room with creaky floors was the coolest space in the house. There was a hole in the wall so I went through to investigate. I discovered that the house was actually more than 1 house. The original structure was a beautiful hewn log cabin. At some point a farmhouse had been moved from another location and set up close to but not touching the cabin. Later on a kitchen wing was added at the rear of the home. We learned that the cabin portion had a good stone foundation but the other areas were supported by on grade footings.

It was time to check out the back yard. WOW AGAIN! I thought there were a lot of trees in the front yard but this place was amazing. Tons of beautiful trees and large open spaces. My mind instantly went to work on ideas of how to make it our own. Outdoor living spaces, play areas for the kids, Our big garden and chicken run. there was space for everything.

But the house was  a wreck. It was sinking into the ground! How much would this cost to fix? What other problems would we find along the way. It was a nightmare.

We stopped at the local favorite Dairy Keen but I couldn't eat my burger. Everything about this house felt perfect except for the house. Kind of a big deal.


To be continued... (sorry, 1 more episode)

Right Sizing - Part 3 - Quick, Quick, Sloooooooow...

As we dove into the purging and simplification process we could see how daunting a task it was going to be. It can be very difficult to get rid of things that you paid good money for or that hold sentimental value. but we were committed to making it happen.

As time went on I became more and more frustrated and dissatisfied with the situation at work. I realized it was time to pull the trigger and pursue my long time dream of self employment. I had been designing homes for several years working in architectural offices and doing freelance work when I could fit it in. Now it was time for me to focus on it full time.

Ali and I put together an exit strategy that would allow me to leave my job in 6 months. I designated July, 1 2013 as my Independence Day. I had a lot to accomplish in a short amount of time. Design projects started coming to me out of nowhere. Everything was falling into place.

As part of this plan we started looking into real-estate investment opportunities. The plan was to find houses with good bones but in poor and out dated aesthetic condition. I would re-design the layouts for more efficient use of space and do interior and exterior renovations to update the homes. we would either hold onto them as rental properties or re-sell them and use the profits as seed money. It was the perfect way to get my name out there and get my business off the ground.

After looking at several homes we found a small bungalow in Copperton. if you don't know where that is it's a very small town tucked up next to the Kennecott Copper mine on Salt Lake's West bench. I've always had a love for well established neighborhoods and passion for old homes. This one needed a lot of work, but the price was right and there was definitely money to be made. We put in a very low offer and it was accepted. Things started moving quickly. We were scheduled to close in a few short weeks and I began to plan for the renovation.

As I got into the project and started seeing all the possibilities I saw what this old house could become. Half joking I asked my wife "What if we don't sell this house after the renovations are made? What if we live in it?" "Yeah, I don't think so" was her first response, but soon she started asking question after question. As we talked about it more we both saw how great an opportunity this could be for our family and the new life we wanted to create.

We listed our house FSBO and it was under contract in a couple weeks. The proceeds from the sale of this home would cover the real-estate fees and most of the renovation. I began to look for short term financing to make up the difference. It was an absolute fiasco! The lenders could not believe that anyone in their right mind would want to walk away from a beautiful, brand new, 4,000 square foot home to live in a much smaller, older home.

We would have to use some very creative (yes, legal) financing to make it happen.

Then, everything came to a screeching halt.

The sellers of this house had several bankruptcies, leans and other judgments against them and it was going to take a while to clear things up. A month tops we were told. This would compact our renovation schedule and we would have to be somewhere temporary for a little longer. But we loved this little old house and were excited to tear into it and make it our home. It was worth the wait.

That was the end of May of last year. On June 6th I lost my job. This was frustrating because a lot of people had the impression that we were moving out of financial necessity. It was all part of the plan, my freedom had just been expedited. We closed on our house and moved into a small 2 bedroom apartment down the road from our new home. It was tight for a family of 5. Our 2 older kids shared the small bedroom and our youngest shared the master closet with our clothes.

By October we were still waiting. And waiting, and waiting....... Each month we had to sign an extension to the real-estate contract and were always told it would be "soon". Because we thought things would move quickly we didn't sign a long term lease and were paying ridiculously high rent on the apartment. my design projects dried up for a couple months and we were digging into our renovation savings. It was not a good situation.

Ali came to me several times saying enough is enough, time to cut our losses, move on, and find another home. She believed that finding this house we had been waiting for was an inspired way of getting us to move. I was reluctant at first but agreed to start looking again.

To be continued......

Right Sizing - Part 2 - Not Crazy... Hey, Let's Go Ride Bikes!

As I focused more and more on the life I wanted to live I began making token efforts to simplify and focus on the things that mattered most. My relationships, my physical health, and my overall happiness. On the outside things looked great. My son Graham was born a week after we moved We were making tons of friends in our new neighborhood,  I ran a full marathon. A 26.2 mile run is something I never thought I would accomplish.

The reality, I was absolutely miserable. It didn't make sense. I had everything I had always wanted and I hated it! I was working extra hours to pay the mortgage and other bills. I was making a lot more but somehow most months we were still living paycheck to paycheck. We had been in our new home for about a year and our stuff had again grown into our house and all the excess space was gone. Every room was filled with our "precious possessions" and the cracks were filled with nonsense. Even the unfinished basement and 3 car garage were bursting at the seams.

I was doing a pretty good job of making everyone else miserable too. Ali and I were not getting along. Trying to keep up with the housework, mischievous toddler, baby, and dog was keeping her very busy. The untidy state of the house caused me to feel like I was suffocating. I had these Mr Hyde episodes of panic and rage and our marriage was hanging by a thread.

I was losing my mind!

Thinking I should probably be admitted to a place with padded walls and rubber spoons I went to see a doctor. A "specialist" if you will.

I arrived for my appointment, paced around the waiting room and looked at outdated magazines and medical journals. Then they called my name. It was my turn and I froze. Only for a second but I froze and the thought crossed my mind "What if I am really insane?" I snapped out of it and went through the open door.

I was greeted by a young doctor who looked like M. Night Shayamalan. I sat down and we had casual small talk for a minute then he jumped into doctor mode and asked me why I was there to see him. Well, as I already told you on the million forms I had to fill out in your waiting room, I am losing my mind and making life miserable. I told him how I felt like I was being strangled and there was nothing I could do about it. This dialogue continued with questions about my childhood, my sleep habits, my relationships, my interests.... everything imaginable and it went on forever!

After this intense evaluation he told me that I was definitely dealing with moderate depression and anxiety but that they weren't his main concern. He said "Brandon, from our conversations it is evident to me that the depression and anxiety you are experiencing now and have dealt with throughout your life are being caused by untreated Attention Deficit Disorder".

I chuckled, he gave me a strange look then there was an awkward silence that lasted way too long.

He continued" I can't make an official diagnosis until we do a few more valuations and the depression is under control which is difficult because your ADD is the catalyst. That said, I have seen enough of this to tell you that it is there".

At this point I was just confused. ADD was something I had joked about with my friends in high school. It wasn't real. It was an excuse for absent minded people.

"So...what do I do?"

"Well, the benefit of diagnosis would be proper treatment and the option to prescribe medication, but I don't feel that's the right option in your case".

Then he said of the most profound things I have ever heard. It wasn't anything new but it was the context and the way he explained it. What it boiled down to....

SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE!

I could not see my life through the chaos I had created. He recommended eliminating anything and everything I could from my life that I wasn't passionate about. he said "still pay your bills and brush your teeth, but kill all the distractions of possessions, time wasters, and even relationships that don't add value to and enrich your life".

He gave me a prescription for an anti-depressant and asked me to set an appointment to come back in 2 weeks.

I left his office and drove home feeling like I was on another planet. Everything was strange but so many things now made sense. Why I had struggled with certain subjects in school and assignments at work while I excelled at others. Why in conversation I would finish people's sentences if I felt they weren't getting to the point. Why the distraction of clutter was literally killing me.

So many things were going through my mind at that time. Like watching 50 TV channels at once. If you have ADD or another superpower you know what I'm talking about and it's not cool. It's horrible!

I had to pull over to clear my head.

What this doctor had told me made perfect sense. It was great because now I understood myself a little better and had direction. But how was I going to do it?  I was about the least organized person on the planet. An absolute train wreck!

I went home and shared my experience with the wife. I told her the things the doctor had said and his recommendations. She agreed that these changes were long overdue and said she was willing to help make it happen.

I threw away the anti-depressant prescription and cancelled my return visit to crazy town and we went to work. We had a huge mountain to climb, but who better to climb it with?

To be continued...

Right Sizing - Part 1 - Screw the Joneses!

Yes, I hate them!

No, I’m not talking about the amazing family who were our neighbors for a few years.

Keeping up with the Joneses.

Sadly for most of us the standard measure for success has become the $. How much money we can make and what we do with it. Our culture has led us to believe that more is better. That bigger is better. In order to be viewed as successful we need to have more.

Our lives have been planned out and geared towards the goal of making it big and being successful. From a very young age we are shown the path. We’re told what to do and what not to do. In junior and senior high school the insanity begins. If you want to be successful wear these clothes, cut your hair like this, talk this way, make these friends, and join these clubs. And because that’s not already enough we are told it’s high time we start thinking about we want to do with our lives.

Which career will get you the highest paying job? What is the most impressive school for this field? What are their admission requirements? Did you score high enough on the standardized test?  Are you good enough?

This is “The Script”

Like most people I bought into it. I’ve done what we are all expected to do. Go to school (kindof), start a career, get married, have kids, buy things….

I was on the right track, moving up in “important” roles in the company. Part of my job description was sitting in pointless meeting after meeting where nothing was accomplished and against the grain thinking was often smothered. I would just sit there staring at the wall or out the window thinking “how did I get here?!?! Why am I doing this?!?!”

I had been spending a lot of time reading books about success and how got achieve it. How to do more of the work you don’t enjoy so you can have more $ so you can buy more of the things that don’t really need or care about. It all seemed so fake and meaningless!

Why did I put myself through this? Because it was the “right thing to do”. It was in the script.

Another line in this script reads “when you become more successful, you upgrade”

Time for a newer bigger house. At the time we were a family of 3 living in 2,500 square feet. More than enough space for our family. But our stuff had outgrown it and we were feeling cramped. We didn’t have to justify the decision, society had done that for us. Remember, We were moving up in life. I had a great job and we were making pretty decent $, my family was growing, and on top of that we were getting a killer deal on the real estate. We knew it was way more space than we needed but our needs would change over time and we would grow into it. It’s a great investment for our future, right? We deserve it, right?

About the time we pulled the trigger to build this home I moved into a new role at work. My job was to improve and simplify manufacturing and office processes. To observe and identify aspects of a process that don’t add real value to the product and work to reduce or eliminate it.

So much of what I was learning and doing applied to life!

I started reading different books and learning new things. The more I got into it the more I realized, hey, this applies to life! We spend so much time focusing on things that just don’t matter, things that don’t add real value or enrich our lives.

I began to pay more attention to the people I knew who were doing incredible things with their lives. These people are entrepreneurs, outdoor enthusiasts, artists, activists, educators, volunteers, travelers, parents and grandparents. They have this non-conformist attitude toward the script. They love life and are actively engaged in the pursuit of things they were passionate about. They value their relationships and experiences over money and possessions.

Something I noticed about these amazing people was that most of them lived very simply. Regardless of their financial status they didn’t carry a lot of baggage in this life. They didn’t subscribe to the idea that bigger is better. They were intrinsically motivated to live.

I wanted it!

To be continued….

The Back Story

Pause - Rewind.

June 6th, 2013 was a momentous day for me. A turning point. but it was definitely not the beginning. I had already spent the past few years in agony and frustration on a quest for sanity. That day was a catalyst for the future.

Over the next few posts I'm going to give you the backstory and set the stage for this what I write about in the future. I wish I had started sooner. So much has happened and I know I'll leave things out. Hopefully nothing too important.

Those of you who know me personally may be surprised with some of the things I share. Other things will be old news.

Press play!

June 6th

When I woke up this morning I checked the date on my phone. 6/6/2014

June 6th… Do I have something going on today? Why does this date feel significant?

I lay in bed through a couple 5 minute snoozes thinking about it and still nothing. So I got up to start the day. 

I drank a glass of water, ate a banana, and went out to the backyard to let our dozen chickens out of the coop. I paused for a few minutes to watch these funny, strange birds stretch their wings, run around and start scratching around in the dirt. It's got to feel pretty good to get outside after you've been standing on a stick all night long. Freedom!

Then it came to me 

June 6th!

One year ago today I lost my job.

Alright, alright.... I was fired.

I had been working for this company for 7 years. It had been a great job. A renowned and respected company backed by 100 years of tradition and excellence. They treated each employee with respect and provided great benefits and opportunities.

But that company no longer existed. It was being driven into the ground by a few very greedy people. It was a sad process to watch, the last year or so had been agonizing.

This company had trained me to observe and analyze. To break down processes and identify waste and inefficiency. My thoughts and observations fell upon deaf ears and I was basically told to watch my back and keep my mouth shut. I guess I learn the hard way because I didn't.

I had long since lost passion for the work I was doing and t was affecting my personal life. I had resigned myself to the fact that it wasn't going to get any better. I had a plan in place to leave the first of July. I was on track and things were falling into place but I didn't make it that long.

When I got pulled into the H.R. office I knew exactly what was coming.

It was a bitter sweet feeling walking out of the building with a box that day. I met countless amazing people, had some great experiences, and learned a ton. 

Then, I had a realization that forever changed my life.

I was no longer "Employee 7209"

I no longer had to live by the rules. It was time to Burn the Script society had written for me.

---

So much of what we have been taught about life is false. It's shameful, it really is. What we've learned about success, intelligence, fitness and nutrition, love.... There is so much more to life than we have been led to believe.

As kids we gained an understanding of the world on our own terms. I definitely learned my share of things the hard way. Worms don’t taste good, even when they’re cooked. Taking a road bike to the bmx track will end badly, every time. If you start a small fire in a field you will burn it down.

I’m still learning a lot of things the hard way and I love it. This past year has been a wild ride as I've learned to live life on my own terms. I’ve had countless enlightening experiences and breakthroughs along the way that have saved my life, marriage, and sanity. I'd feel very ungrateful to not share with everyone I can. 

So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to write. I am going to experience life and write about it.

If you like reality TV then stay tuned. I am so passionate about what I have to say that I guarantee I’ll make a complete fool of myself and embarrass those closest to me in the process (you have been warned).

I don’t know everything. I wouldn’t be doing this if I did. If you are looking for a life guru I am not. There are plenty of these people out there and I would be happy to point you in their direction. I’m here to learn. To try new things, fail miserably, and hopefully do some good. If I write something you disagree with or present an idea that is completely boneheaded, please, call me out on it. Share your ideas and opinions.

I’d love to have others write for me as well. I know some of the coolest people who do amazing things. I have an amazing and supportive wife who has been with me every step of this journey and I plan on coercing her to write from time to time.

Why am I doing this? There are several reasons, which I’ll share as time goes by, but for now I’ll just say

I love life and I love people.

If each post inspires one person to improve their life it will all be worthwhile.

Please become involved!

Comment on posts, ask questions, give suggestions for future posts, share this blog with others, and share YOUR journey! It would be awesome to learn from you too.