Sunday visits have been a tradition for us since we were married almost 9 years ago. It's great to spend time with parents and siblings and for our kids to be able to run around with their cousins.
We stopped at Ali's parents house first and had some great corn chowder and garden fresh veggies (I love harvest season food). Then on to my parents house for our nieces birthday party.
We had just finished singing Happy Birthday when my mom answered a phone call. She listened for a few seconds trying to hear over the party noise and walked into the back room. A moment later the party went silent as we heard cries of sadness and pain from the other room.
Instantly my heart sank, my throat turned to concrete, and tears filled my eyes. No words were needed, I knew exactly what had happened. My dad took over on the phone speaking in calm tones that I couldn't quite decipher.
After a couple minutes that seemed like an hour my parents came back into the room. My dad composed himself and told us all that my Grandpa Sugden, my mom's dad, had passed away. Emotion filled the room as hugs and tears were shared.
My parents had to leave quickly to go meet the police at my grandparents house. The siblings, spouses and all our kids did the best we could to finish up the party and clean up the house so my parents wouldn't have to worry about the mess when they returned.
As we made our way home I started to think about my Grandpa and all the memories I have of him.
Robert David Sugden
Grandpa was a pilot. He loved to fly. He also loved to build model airplanes. We visited my grandparents a lot when I was growing up and I spent countless hours down in Grandpa's basement watching him build planes and screwing up a few of my own. I wish I had a picture to share because that basement is an amazing place. Hundreds of planes, large and small hung from the walls and from the ceiling like stalactites. The ultimate Man Cave! Some had gas engines, most were powered by rubber bands but they all flew. What's the point of an airplane that doesn't fly?
Grandpa taught me the physics of flight. Why wings are shaped the way they are. Why weight distribution and wing trim were so important. He taught me how impatience ruins everything.
My grandpa taught me a lot about a lot of things. The thing he taught me that has had the greatest life changing impact was that a persons intelligence and education can not be measured by their level of schooling or by how many fancy letters they get to put behind their name. There are a lot of idiots with college degrees.
He was one of the smartest people I have had the privilege of knowing. In addition to being a pilot he was an inventor, a machinist, a mechanic, a welder...... If he wanted to do something he would teach himself how. He would either read, watch something, or just figure the damned thing out on his own.
Grandpa had a High School Diploma.
The funeral was scheduled for that Thursday. My brother Adam was asked to speak at the memorial service on behalf of all the grandkids. He my siblings, cousins and I to share with him some of my best memories of grandpa that he could use when he spoke. My mind had already been working on this for a few days and I had a lot to share.
At the service several people spoke. My grandpas grandson, younger brother, and a life long friend were a few of those who paid awesome tribute to his life. While each had a different relationship and had different memories and shared different stories of this amazing man's life there was a very powerful and consistent theme to all the words shared.
Grandpa loved to fly, he loved to build things, and he loved to learn.
I was amazed yet not at all surprised that so many people had learned the same valuable lesson from my grandpa. If you want to do something do it. If you don't know how, TEACH YOURSELF!
I struggled in school big time. All the way from elementary school and through high school and college. Somehow I always managed to pull off good grades and even ended up on the honor roll a few times. I learned the concepts. I did the work and I passed. but it was HELL!
For me (and so many others who are wired a bit different) classroom education is agonizing. It is slow and tedious and inefficient. In contrast I loved classes where I could get up and move around. to be actively engaged physically and mentally. P.E., pottery, print shop, and art classes were amazing. on a couple occasions I was so into my woodshop projects that I only realized that I had worked through the bell and an entirely different class period when the lights when off and I was asked to leave the shop.
I enrolled in college immediately after high school. The first couple semesters were amazing. I was taking classes that inspired me and allowed me to use and develop skill sets that were important and applicable to things I was actually interested in. I impulsively enrolled in nonsense classes that had nothing to do with my degree but I found interesting. I was soaring and had almost perfect grades.
Then it hit me.
I had been focusing on and enrolling in only the program specific courses in my architectural degree. and some expensive "play time". The next required classes had something called "prerequisites"
???
My next semester I had nothing but general courses like math, a strange civics course, and some class about how to get along with co-workers and say the right things to your boss.
Initiate self destruct sequence in 5...4...3...2...1...
Over the next 11 years - 2 years of missionary service = 9 painful years I struggled through 2 classes per semester night school (where the instructors really don't want to be there and finish class early half the time). I bombed classes where I knew and understood the material I just couldn't get into it.
OK... Brandon is crazy! Where is he going with this and what does it have to do with his Grandpa?
In 2011 It dawned on me that I didn't HAVE TO do this. I realized that I just plain didn't care to finish. I didn't need or even want that magic piece of paper that said I was smart. I knew I was and that I was learning way more on my own and from life and having an amazing time doing it.
I though of Grandpa as I made the deliberate decision to drop all my classes mid semester just a few credits shy of finally finishing. Yeah, it was frustrating and I was mad at myself for investing so much time and $ in something and not see it through. I felt free and empowered to focus my energy on things that mattered. To spend more time with my family and pursue my passions.
I am not knocking education in any form. It is a vital part of our society. There are so many avenues to receive knowledge expand our possibilities. It is maddening that so much of our society views an academic degree as the only valid measure of a persons intelligence.
In my past life as an employee I was a part of several interviewing panels where we met with dozens of applicants to fill different positions. I remember sitting down to talk with so many amazingly talented, innovative, experienced, qualified, and interesting people were turned down based on their "lack of education". Complete bonehead psychos ended up getting hired because their resumes looked good.
I am so grateful that more and more people, businesses, and organizations are recognizing there is more to a persons intelligence and capacity than letters attached to their name or an overpriced piece of paper .
I think we stand a chance.
Thank you Grandpa for teaching me the value of education. For being an amazing example of what is possible when we question everything and learn for ourselves. Thank you for Burning the Script!
I love you and will miss you until we meet again.
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