Valentines Day is an amazing day!
Sales of cheap chocolates and oversized teddy bears go through the roof. If you haven't made a reservation for dinner enjoy Taco Bell. If you don't have a date... you suck. And if you planned a crappy date... you suck even worse!
Stupid Cupid
I lucked out and got one of the good wifes. She doesn't really care all that much about San Valentine.
But I still felt driven by the sentiment of the season in choosing my experiment for this month. I thought about what I could do to really demonstrate the love I have for those most important to me. My thoughts kept going back part of my post from January 22nd - Meditation and Affirmations.
The post that ended up being published was way different from the one I had mentally drafted. One of the rare occasions where I learn something from myself.
"I want to be able to give others MY BEST ME. They deserve it! Each one of the relationships I have deserves me to be engaged and present in the moment. Each one deserves for me to be at my best.
This is something I have been failing at for years and I sincerely apologize.
This is reason numero uno why Burning the Script and simplifying my life has become so important to me. I want to strip away and dispose of anything and everything (physical, psychological, spiritual...) that distract me from the essential beauty of each relationship I have."
My lifestyle experiment for February is one of the affirmations I set for myself in January.
I am MY best ME
It is going to be driven by a few other supporting affirmations.
I am the change I want to see in the world
I actively work to eliminate the non-essential
I say NO in order to say YES to people and causes I am passionate about
I write my own script and live life on my own terms
Like January's challenge, this isn't super exciting or as much of an experiment as some of the things I have planned for later in the year but it is crucial. It is something I need to make happen for myself and for others.
I've said it so many times here. The number 1 biggest thing holding me back from being the man I know I am. CLUTTER. Everything from the physical to the mental and spiritual.
No more tinkering or dabbling in my efforts. It has to go NOW.
I have a few specific and measurable things I am setting out to accomplish this month.
Yardsale season is coming up and this time we'll be ready. Our kids are on board and we have begun the process of purging the toys. Whatever we decide to keep will be divided into smaller groups and rotated with the seasons.
I'll be taking down the curtains from my Packing Party and doing a serious beat down on what I've been hiding for the past 3 months. My goal = clean and clear. If I don't need it, I don't own it. I plan on using the same method the kids are using on their toys with my clothing. Group clothing into seasonal groups, work clothes, and athletic clothing. I'll store what I'm not using and throw the rest on the yardsale bag.
I'll work with my wife to tackle the common areas of our home. We've already been through a few rounds of this and I think with a few small tweaks and tools it will shine.
Reducing the visual mayhem will be a huge step forward and allow me to start peeling off the layers of internal clutter. I think the mental and spiritual aspects will for the most part work themselves out.
My relationship clutter is a different story and will likely need more attention than my Packing Party Pile. I've haven't been present and engaged. I haven't been ME and damage has been done.
In a conversation with my wife a couple nights ago I had a complete break down. I don't want my kids to remember their Dad as this stranger I've been for most of their young lives. I want to change while they are still forgiving. My wife saw something in me when she agreed to wear my ring and hold hands forever. Whatever that was hasn't been around much lately. She deserves better.
I want to be the relaxed, care free, inventive, spontaneous, loving person I once knew.
They won't know what hit them!
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