Packing Party Part 2 - Checking In

I started the packing party bright and early this morning and have been able to make some good progress. Still a lot of work to do. Yes, I am wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday.

Packing Party Part 1 - Packing Day Eve - Current State or The Disaster

I thought I would kick off this weeks festivities with a look at the current state of my attic office.

Enter at your own risk!

At first I thought about cleaning things up a little bit and making the place presentable for the video but that doesn't tell the actual story. I plan on doing all my videos unscripted and unforgiving. I didn't even watch this one before I uploaded it.

 

Its a long video but I wanted to give you a good idea how much junk I have up in this one small room. Which is crazy because I have already done so much purging.

 

So tomorrow is the day. See you then!

It's Time to Party! - Grab the Boxes.

 

I first heard about the "Packing Party" while watching a youtube video from a guy named Ryan Nicodemus. He and his friend Joshua Fields Millburn have dubbed themselves The Minimalists. They run a blog by that name and have written several books, and essays and regularly speak at events like TED.

After watching Ryan's video I have come across several other people who have done packing parties of their own. Each has their own variations but the idea is simple and effective.

Here are the basics of the Packing Party.

1- Box everything up as if you were moving. Be quick but systematic. Group like items and label boxes so you can find things. When you get to the off season items keep them together. No "moving day panic packing". If you identify things that you know right away you can do without get rid of them! Sell, donate, gift, trash. No reason to keep them in the mix.

2- Throw sheets over larger items like furniture that you absolutely know you will be using.

3- Clear it all out and start with a clean slate. Take some time to observe and appreciate the space.

4- As you determine that you need or really, really want an item go get it and find a home for it.

5- As you retrieve items refrain from grabbing other things by default just because you see them. Wait until you specifically need them.

6- Continue going through this process and you will find yourself opening up boxes less and less often. When you feel you have reached that point mark the calendar and live in your new space for a pre-determined length of time (3 weeks - 2 months, whatever feels right to you).

7- Now that you've had this time to settle in and enjoy the new found freedom from excess it's time to open up the boxes. Hopefully your perspective on life and possessions will have changed a bit by now and you can look at each item in a truly subjective way to determine if you really want it in your life.

8- Take a look at your before pictures and video and reflect on how things have changed. Think about how different areas of your life have improved by making this change. Commit yourself to maintaining this new found awesomeness.



So why haven't I already done this?

I've been on this path to simplicity for a few years now and have been through several cycles of purging and uncluttering. I've seen the difference in my life each time I have eliminated a box of baggage and felt more free to move forward to the present and future.

The biggest thing holding me back to this point has been fear. Fear of drastic change. Fear of letting go of or dealing with some things. But the biggest fear.... seeing my true self emerge for the first time In years without all the excess.

I'm really looking forward to this change and know it will be a very positive thing for myself and my family. But my fear is because I don't know that person anymore. The last time I remember truly feeling like myself was 10 years ago while doing missionary service in Spain. Everything I owned fit into 2 bags and I loved it.

Why now?

I've thought about throwing a Packing Party a few times in the past but never had the level of motivation / frustration to actually make it happen. This past month or so has been a very humbling time for me. Dealing with the loss of my Grandpa has been rough. I've been a wreck. I have been extremely on edge and irritable and I've said harsh words to my wife and children. Last week I realized a critical oversight I had made on one of my home design projects.... 3 months ago! This has led to several days of toxic self talk running through my head. I'm a fake, I'm worthless. I'm not a good person...

I'm not one for excuses. I'm pretty good at owning up to my mistakes and doing whatever is necessary to fix the problem. But this person I've been, this monster I've given into for the past several years, is not me. So who do I blame? Who is the culprit?

CLUTTER!

Yes I know, I've been the master builder of my mountain of madness so I'm not completely passing the buck here. But to an extent I've just been following The Script. Accumulating the things I'm "supposed to have". Combine that with my inherent absent mindedness and chronic disorganization and you get a ticking time bomb.

This experience has been more than enough incentive to take it to the next level and give myself a fighting chance. I'm excited, overwhelmed, scared, and optimistic all in one.

Packing Party

Thursday, October 30th 6:00 AM

You're Invited!

No, I'm not asking or suggesting that you wake up early to come help my box up my junk. I'm inviting / challenging you to have your own Packing Party. Do a room, a single drawer, or your whole house. Whatever works for you. Try it out!

This Thursday I'm going to wake up early and get started. Clothing, office supplies, photos and other things on the wall are all getting boxed up. I know it is going to take a while and I have to get some work done so I'll do a couple more hours that afternoon and finish up Halloween morning. My goal is to have the space completely cleared out for when I start the day on November 1st.

I plan on posting a video and probably some photos of before I get started so you can see my current space. I'll do more over the next several weeks as my space takes shape.

Broken Zipper Memories

Each step I have taken towards simplifying my life I have noticed myself really enjoying what I decide to hold on to.

I love fall weather and the fall season in general. It brings back so many amazing memories both recent and distant. I love the crisp air and changing colors. It's what I call jacket weather. This past week the temperature has been dropping right along with the leaves. Time to put away the summer clothes and pull out the colder weather clothing.

There's one item I didn't have to pull out.

My grey hooded jacket.

It is probably my favorite piece of clothing and has been a 4 season favorite since I found it on a clearance rack probably 8 years ago. It fits perfect and is just the right thickness to keep me warm but not sweaty.

I have developed a kind of existential relationship with this simple jacket. Even more so the past few years as I have focused more on simplicity and living a meaningful life.

Date nights with my beautiful wife, camping trips, helping my brothers do renovation work on their homes, raking leaves with my kids... So many great memories live in this jacket.

My jacket is slowly beginning to die. The zipper pull broke this past spring and the elbows are wearing thin. It is still very comfortable, and still serves its purpose, but probably not for much longer.

I know the memories aren't really a part of the jacket and won't fade when its gone. After all its just a jacket. But it is nice to have things that hold special significance.

 

What hold special significance for you?

Grandpa - The Man Who Flew and Knew

Every other Sunday we make the 1 hour drive from Heber City to South Jordan to visit family.

Sunday visits have been a tradition for us since we were married almost 9 years ago. It's great to spend time with parents and siblings and for our kids to be able to run around with their cousins.

We stopped at Ali's parents house first and had some great corn chowder and garden fresh veggies (I love harvest season food). Then on to my parents house for our nieces birthday party.

We had just finished singing Happy Birthday when my mom answered a phone call. She listened for a few seconds trying to hear over the party noise and walked into the back room. A moment later the party went silent as we heard cries of sadness and pain from the other room.

Instantly my heart sank, my throat turned to concrete, and tears filled my eyes. No words were needed, I knew exactly what had happened. My dad took over on the phone speaking in calm tones that I couldn't quite decipher.

After a couple minutes that seemed like an hour my parents came back into the room. My dad composed himself and told us all that my Grandpa Sugden, my mom's dad, had passed away. Emotion filled the room as hugs and tears were shared.

My parents had to leave quickly to go meet the police at my grandparents house. The siblings, spouses and all our kids did the best we could to finish up the party and clean up the house so my parents wouldn't have to worry about the mess when they returned.

As we made our way home I started to think about my Grandpa and all the memories I have of him.

Robert David Sugden

Grandpa was a pilot. He loved to fly. He also loved to build model airplanes. We visited my grandparents a lot when I was growing up and I spent countless hours down in Grandpa's basement watching him build planes and screwing up a few of my own.  I wish I had a picture to share because that basement is an amazing place. Hundreds of planes, large and small hung from the walls and from the ceiling like stalactites. The ultimate Man Cave! Some had gas engines, most were powered by rubber bands but they all flew. What's the point of an airplane that doesn't fly?

Grandpa taught me the physics of flight. Why wings are shaped the way they are. Why weight distribution and wing trim were so important. He taught me how impatience ruins everything.

My grandpa taught me a lot about a lot of things. The thing he taught me that has had the greatest life changing impact was that a persons intelligence and education can not be measured by their level of schooling or by how many fancy letters they get to put behind their name. There are a lot of idiots with college degrees.

He was one of the smartest people I have had the privilege of knowing. In addition to being a pilot he was an inventor, a machinist, a mechanic, a welder...... If he wanted to do something he would teach himself how. He would either read, watch something, or just figure the damned thing out on his own.

Grandpa had a High School Diploma.

The funeral was scheduled for that Thursday. My brother Adam was asked to speak at the memorial service on behalf of all the grandkids. He my siblings, cousins and I to share with him some of my best memories of grandpa that he could use when he spoke. My mind had already been working on this for a few days and I had a lot to share.


At the service several people spoke. My grandpas grandson, younger brother, and a life long friend were a few of those who paid awesome tribute to his life. While each had a different relationship and had different memories and shared different stories of this amazing man's life there was a very powerful and consistent theme to all the words shared.

Grandpa loved to fly, he loved to build things, and he loved to learn.

 

I was amazed yet not at all surprised that so many people had learned the same valuable lesson from my grandpa. If you want to do something do it. If you don't know how, TEACH YOURSELF!

I struggled in school big time. All the way from elementary school and through high school and college. Somehow I always managed to pull off good grades and even ended up on the honor roll a few times. I learned the concepts. I did the work and I passed. but it was HELL!

For me (and so many others who are wired a bit different) classroom education is agonizing. It is slow and tedious and inefficient. In contrast I loved classes where I could get up and move around. to be actively engaged physically and mentally. P.E., pottery, print shop, and art classes were amazing. on a couple occasions I was so into my woodshop projects that I only realized that I had worked through the bell and an entirely different class period when the lights when off and I was asked to leave the shop.

I enrolled in college immediately after high school. The first couple semesters were amazing. I was taking classes that inspired me and allowed me to use and develop skill sets that were important and applicable to things I was actually interested in. I impulsively enrolled in nonsense classes that had nothing to do with my degree but I found interesting. I was soaring and had almost perfect grades.

Then it hit me.

I had been focusing on and enrolling in only the program specific courses in my architectural degree. and some expensive "play time". The next required classes had something called "prerequisites"

???

My next semester I had nothing but general courses like math, a strange civics course, and some class about how to get along with co-workers and say the right things to your boss.

Initiate self destruct sequence in 5...4...3...2...1...

Over the next 11 years - 2 years of missionary service = 9 painful years I struggled through 2 classes per semester night school (where the instructors really don't want to be there and finish class early half the time). I bombed classes where I knew and understood the material I just couldn't get into it.

OK... Brandon is crazy! Where is he going with this and what does it have to do with his Grandpa?

In 2011 It dawned on me that I didn't HAVE TO do this. I realized that I just plain didn't care to finish. I didn't need or even want that magic piece of paper that said I was smart. I knew I was and that I was learning way more on my own and from life and having an amazing time doing it.

I though of Grandpa as I made the deliberate decision to drop all my classes mid semester just a few credits shy of finally finishing. Yeah, it was frustrating and I was mad at myself for investing so much time and $ in something and not see it through. I felt free and empowered to focus my energy on things that mattered. To spend more time with my family and pursue my passions.

I am not knocking education in any form. It is a vital part of our society. There are so many avenues to receive knowledge expand our possibilities. It is maddening that so much of our society views an academic degree as the only valid measure of a persons intelligence.

In my past life as an employee I was a part of several interviewing panels where we met with dozens of applicants to fill different positions. I remember sitting down to talk with so many amazingly talented, innovative, experienced, qualified, and interesting people were turned down based on their "lack of education". Complete bonehead psychos ended up getting hired because their resumes looked good.

I am so grateful that more and more people, businesses, and organizations are recognizing there is more to a persons intelligence and capacity than letters attached to their name or an overpriced piece of paper .

I think we stand a chance.



Thank you Grandpa for teaching me the value of education. For being an amazing example of what is possible when we question everything and learn for ourselves. Thank you for Burning the Script!

I love you and will miss you until we meet again.