Lifestyle Experiment - May - Report Card

Full Disclosure

This month's lifestyle experiment was pretty close to a total bust.

My motivation and desire to make it happen were there and chomping at the bit. I did make some good progress clearing out our garage and getting my office back in order. But I wasn't able to get into "editing" like I wanted to.

- I started late in the month with no true goal or vision in mind. I was also playing catch up from being away for our amazing 11 day vacation.

- I was able to spend a day on a field trip with my daughter.

- We got our vegetable garden in the ground.

The month of May was definitely not a loss. But, I'm taking a mulligan on being "ruthless".

For June I'll be doubling up on the challenges. I'll check back in with that on Monday.


In other news.

I noticed the other day that almost everything I have written about over the past several months has had to do with these lifestyle experiments and I'm getting pretty bored with it. I love challenging myself and pushing myself to do cool things but I have so many other things I would rather be sharing with you.

I'm not going to quit doing the challenges and I'm not done sharing them with you. Just expect to see more and better content that's all.

So... What Do You Do?

We've all asked and been asked this question a million times. It's part of our default protocol when meeting someone new or catching up with an old friend or relative.

This often contrived and impersonal interaction has bothered me for a really long time. A couple years ago, I got an idea for a social experiment. I decided to take this question out of it's pre-programmed social context and tell people what I'm really doing with my life. I don't do it every time the question comes up, but when I do the reactions are interesting.

So Brandon, what do you do?

... Last month we were able to go on an amazing Scandinavian adventure.
... I'm really excited to be running trails again. I was going through major withdrawals this winter.
... I'm enjoying simplifying my life and getting rid of most of what I own.

Great... but really, what do you DO?

Well....

... We became debt free last year and have been loving the financial freedom.
... I started lap swimming recently.  Not just flailing my arms and legs to stay afloat takes practice.
... I created this blog called Burning the Script and I'm writing about.....

NO!

What do you... Grrr... What do you do for $$$???

Oh....

In what line of work I am gainfully employed in order provide for myself and others?
(Sounds pretty boring when it's phrased that way doesn't it?)

Why is it that when this question gets thrown around people aren't looking to hear about what is really going on in our LIVES? How has our profession/vocation/job become the main way we identify ourselves in this culture. Why is the barometer of a person's perceived success pre-set based on what they do "for a living" and not HOW they are LIVING?

Is this the best we can do?

I have met so many amazing people who are in what might be considered the less glamorous lines of work yet they were happy to be providing a service and genuinely engaged in what they were doing. I've met even more people who have the "dream jobs", are making the big $$$, and show all signs of a "successful" life, yet below this facade they are completely miserable.

Sadly, so many people are caught up in the rat race and doing a balancing act of making ends meet and still finding a way to afford the next big thing. Work becomes the central focus of their

With that in mind I guess it makes sense that people would automatically associate this so called livelyhood as what they "do" and even who they "are".


As part of this experiment I've also made it a point to ask different questions when I meet new people.

Hey "new cool person I just met", what's going on in your life?

... I'm in sales.
... I'm a pediatric dentist.
... I'm a software engineer

That's nice but tell me about yourself?

... I manage a team of 30.
... I clean tables after people are done eating.
... I deliver office supplies.

What do you REALLY do?

... I just told you
... I'm confused
... ?

Oh...

... After my shift at the Quickymart I'm headed accross town for band practice.
... I have 2 more haircut appointments then I'm volunteering at the local senior center.
... With my next paycheck I'll be registering for my first triathlon!



So tell me... what do YOU do?

Lifestyle Experiment - April - Disconnected and Fully Engaged.

Good morning!

My attic office window faces East and most mornings I watch the sunrise.

Pretty amazing!

It's hard not to wakeup and jump right into work. I have a lot to do. I've made commitments. Taking a few minutes each morning and throughout the day to pause, disconnect, and let life in helps to keep me energized throughout the day. I am more focused in my work and less irritable when I remember to do this.

I thought about doing an April Fools Day post and making up some crazy story but  I don't have anything to share that wouldn't be completely obvious.

Last night I deleted all social media and other timewasters from my phone. I didn't use them very much to begin with but I've found myself connecting more often lately. I've become part of a few pretty cool groups and started another. People have interesting things to say and I enjoy learning from them. I also enjoy contributing myself and it is really tempting to check in to see if anyone has commented on something I've shared.

I'm highly distractible. By now you know this. I was told by the psychologist who gave me the ADD under the table diagnosis that I have strong addictive tendencies and that I should be vigilant in life to keep them in check.

When I get an alert on my phone I've trained myself to not need to immediately see what's going on. But the notification takes up space in my mind. Knowing that I have something waiting for me takes up some of my focus bandwidth. I end up checking it a little while later just to get it out of my mind. By then there might be a handful of alerts all vying for my attention.

I don't like it.

I do like when I am able to learn from others and when people are interested in things I have to share. I love re-connecting with old friends and having a forum to bounce questions and ideas off of. What I can do without is the never ending connectivity. BING - BING - BING. Check it out, you don't want to miss anything!

EXACTLY!

I don't want to miss out on life because I was sucked up in the world of  anti-social media. I want to make genuine connections with real people.

I say this all while preparing a post to send out to facebook and the blogosphere. Hypocrisy? Maybe a little. The fact is I don't see these things as bad in moderation and when used to enhance opportunities in REAL LIFE. I use it for business. I use it to manage a community and I use it to connect.

Lately I've felt it's claws digging into me and I'd rather be free.

So for April, and probably indefinitely, I'm checking out of social media. It's gone from my phone and I won't connect from my computer except for 1 day a week for 30 minutes. Wednesday by default. During this small window I will do all  posts, status updates, replies, ... everything. Then I'm disconnected again for 7 days.

And not just social media. I'm going to look for ways to put the beat down on other time wasting garbage in life. I have so many important and meaningful things to do that I am just not getting around to doing. My TO DO list is hovering over my head like the anvil in a Wile E. Coyote cartoon.

I'm looking forward to catching more of the sunrises in life.

See you next week.

Lifestyle Experiment - March - Report Card

My last post pretty much summed up how I feel about this past mont. No more trying to force life and win the game on my own. I am going to allow my "teammates" to get into the game and play their part. If they are able to help me I am able to help them and together we establish Cadence in Life

Thanks trees! Why didn't you say so in the first place?

Cadence in Life - Lessons from the Black Locust Trees

In one of my first posts to this blog I told you all about our trip up to Heber City to check out this old house for sale. My first impression of the house was Big Old Piece of _____.

The yard was a completely different story.

I've said it before and I'll say it again 1000 times. I love trees. The front yard was awesome but after making our way through the ramshackle house I saw the backyard and I was sold.

 

This picture doesn't even begin to do the yard justice. The grass was hammered, the planting beds were overgrown, and their was strange garbage stashed here and there. It was a pretty big mess.

 

But the trees!

 

Huge, mature, beautiful green shade trees everywhere! A few of them I recognized as some type of maple (Box Elder complete with the nasty bugs but I did find out they produce great syrup) and other trees that resembled the Honey Locust trees we had in the yard of our first home.

 

A bit rough around the edges but in my mind it had all the ingredients for paradise.

 

We moved in that December after all the leaves had fallen and the green had gone. As the snow fell to the ground and clung to bushes and branches our yard was transformed into a different brand of paradise. A winter wonderland. It was awesome to watch our kids run around in their new world. Tracking up the snow and climbing trees.

 

Pretty soon the snow melted away and the color came back to our yard. It was amazing to watch everything spring to life. The grass started coming in. Buds where showing on the lilac bushes and Box Elder trees, and the songs of birds returned. It was incredible.

 

Then, I freaked out.

 

Our entire yard was coming to life except for one thing. Our beautiful grove of Black Locust trees.

 

Everything else was looking amazing. These trees were looking dead. To make it worse a few of the branches snapped off way to easily when I pulled on them. Yep, the trees were dead.

 

I won't lie, I was pretty distraught. Most of the trees in our yard were Black Locust and they were all dead! From what I hear a lot of people consider them weeds because they grow like crazy and do whatever they want but I think they are incredible trees and will gladly deal with their personality quirks. I love the diffuse shade they create and the sound their small leaves make in the wind.

 

So much for that.

 

After sulking it up for a few days I saw something that made me wonder. I started seeing Black Locusts all around town. They must have been the tree of choice at some point because they were everywhere. I noticed that they were all looking pretty dead. It wasn't just our backyard forest that was struggling.

 

Sure enough, within a couple weeks the Black Locust trees decided to come out of hibernation and quickly sprang to life. before long they were just as full and vibrant as the other trees and plants.

 

Last spring I didn't know that the Black Locust trees were late bloomers and it put me in panic mode. This year I know what to expect and I've been able to let nature do it's thing and enjoy the season.

 

...

 

I've given you fair warning, this blog gets spiritual NOW.

 

This month I've been thinking a lot about the whole Cadence in Life thing. I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I can't force life. There are so many things that I want to make happen for myself, for my family and for others. I like to move fast and I like to get things done. When life (situations, my work, other people) doesn't move at my pace I've tended to get a bit frustrated.

 

At some point I got the idea that if I worked hard enough and applied enough leverage and pressure to life it would move in the direction I want it to go. Sometimes it works with great results. Other times I do all I can and nothing happens then suddenly SNAP! life breaks.

 

Patience is something that doesn't come easy for me. It's one of those things I really have to work at. Being patient with myself, with my wife and kids, with my responsibilities in my work and in my community.

 

Sometimes, not often enough, I remember this wise bit of advice and promise.

 

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness, I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then I will make weak things become strong unto them."    

Ether 12:27

 

I have definitely been feeling pretty weak lately. I've had several conversations with my wife about how I feel I am being torn into 2 people by opposing influences in my life. I've noticed there has been a fine line between feeling motivated, empowered, and guided and disillusioned, weak, and alone.

 

I've definitely felt like I was going it alone at times. Like I was without a team playing in the biggest game of my life against an extremely aggressive and talented opponent.

 

"At times we may be tempted to think the Savior is oblivious to our trials. In fact, the reverse is true: it is we who need to be awakened in our hearts to His teachings. Use your ingenuity, your strength, your might to resolve your challenges, Do all you can do and then leave the rest to the Lord."

Joseph B. Wirthlin, "Finding a Safe Harbor"

 

When I actually take time to pause and look up I realize that my team has been here the whole time. They have all wanted to play but I've been a superstar ball hog trying to push the game forward and win on my own. It might work that way in little league but not here, not on this stage.

 

I'm going to take what's left of this month and beyond to really focus on relying on my team. I'll do everything in my power to do my part in life and get things done but also allow life to move at it's own steady pace and fill in the gaps.

 

GO TEAM!

 

 

Lifestyle Experiment - March - Cadence in Life

Every year on a specific date my wife gets a call from her dad with a specific question/riddle.

"What is the only date that is also a call to action?"

It's a dead giveaway because the answer is that very same day.

March 4th = March Forth = Today

- Soldiers march, and run, in a synchronized rhythm or cadence. They do this to promote unity, maintain a constant speed and reduce fatigue.

- In music the rhythm is kept by the motion of a baton or beat of a drum.

- As I've started swimming (really swimming) for the first time this past month I have learned the importance of a consistent and rhythmic stroke and breathing pattern.

Rhythm and order in life is absolutely essential. For me personally it makes all the difference in the world. The routines I set for myself in January got me going in the morning and slowed my mind and body down at night so I could actually sleep. They helped establish and maintain cadence in life.

This month is going to be another busy one. I have so many things I want/need to accomplish and every day less time to do it. With out a plan to direct my march I will fail. No question about it.

- I will be pacing my friend for a portion of the Buffalo 100 (100 mile race on Antelope Island) and I haven't trained consistently since last fall. Time to hit the trail. Come rain, or snow, or mud.

- Our newly organized community minimalist group is having it's first meetup this month. This means planning a presentation, and designing posters to put up on bulletin boards around town.

-We don't want to miss the boat on early planting in our garden this year. Time to plan, cultivate, sprout, and plant so our crop is well established before the heat rolls in.

- There is some serious sorting and purging to be done in our garage so we can have a spring yard sale and once and for clear out the space for its intended use.


Since serving as an LDS missionary in Spain planning has been a weekly mainstay for me. Throwing everything down on a weekly calendar that schedules things down to each half hour. I'm a serious scatterbrain so once I made my weekly plan I would often lose track of it by Tuesday or Wednesday and scramble to try to remember what I had going on. I'm also constantly writing notes down on random piece of paper I can find. I try to keep them together and organized but that leads to clutter and spaghetti brain...

For Christmas each year the siblings on my side of our family each draw a name for gift exchange. This year my brother Matt got lucky and drew my name. Then he hit a home run with his gift.

I opened a small box that contained an iPad fixed to the back and instructions to put on the headphones, wake up the device and press play. All the tell tell signs something crazy was going to happen.

I followed the instructions and watched this video.

A lot of people wouldn't get very excited about getting a planner for Christmas. I was thrilled!

 

It wasn't a regular planner, it was my brain on paper! It was seriously the antidote to my insanity. One place for all my planning, goal setting notes, sketching... everything!

 

Thanks again Matt!

 

It didn't arrive until early February so I've only had a month to try it out. It took a couple weeks to understand everything that it was and it's full potential. I'm looking forward to more fully utilizing it.

 

So my Lifestyle Experiment this month...

 

March Forth

 

Leaving the past in the past I'm going to establish the Cadence of Getting Things Done. I'm going to make full use of this awesome new tool and give myself a fighting chance to stay on task and accomplish what I set out to do. I'm excited to get going!

 

I'm hoping that by next months challenge I will have sorted out a big chunk of the things that have been holding me back and that my "experiments" will become much more adventurous and entertaining.

 

Until then my invitation to you...

 

March Forth

 

 

 

Lifestyle Experiment - February - Report Card

Ugggg!

I was pretty wound up and hard on myself the past few days as February came to a close. Feeling like I've fallen short of my goals for the month.

Most of February was pretty slow for business which allowed me to focus on getting things done.

I got started early with the unpacking party and was able to make some great progress in a short while. I started with the low hanging fruit and shreded garbage bags full of old documents.

I got ahead of myself,  distractability took over, and I started pulling out boxes of office supplies, books, school assignments, and my personal favorite, a box labeled "Brandon's Sentimental Junk".

I went nuts, tore things apart, trashed, recycled, donated,...., paused, drug up memories good and bad, forced myself to keep going, found the old photos, more memories better and worse, and filled up another big bag of negative energy.

It was psychologically exhausting and I needed a break.

The weather was incredible and I wanted to be outside. I love getting dirty and making things happen. I sorted through the stockpile of strange junk left in my backyard compliments of the Rock Collector. I built things, moved things, and got dirty.

Then the tidal wave hit and I got busy with design work. Really busy!

I tried to carve out a little time each day to keep sorting and purging. It had to be done! I had become accustomed to the zen state of an uncluttered office and I was finding it extremely difficult to remain focused and on task in this war zone.

I also had a few unfinished projects out in the yard that I wanted to wrap up because I heard the snow was finally coming. but it was important to keep the work going for my clients and the $ coming in to support my family.

Enter my frustration.

I knew I would have to check in here and report on how the past month had gone but It hadn't gone according to plan and I didn't know what to write so I put it off.

Last night (the last night of the month) Was date night with my wifey. As we sat in the restaurant waiting for our food I mentioned my frustration with not completing this challenge. Her response?

"February is a short month so you really have a few more days to get things done"

My initial thought was "Yeah, you're missing the point, it doesn't work that way".

Our food arrived and I didn't think much more about it. We had a great time. We laughed and ate amazing food. I noticed how happy and content I felt in that moment. It was really, really, nice. I wanted to box it up with our leftovers and take it home to enjoy later.

Then it hit me,

What was that affirmation from January that inspired my experiment for this month?

I am MY best ME

Oh, right...

I had completely missed the boat and all my frustrations were unwarranted.

My real goal was not to completely finish up and clear out from my Packing Party. It wasn't to take care of all the clutter spots around the house and garage, and get the yard 100% ready for the warmer months. Those things were just action items. They were things that needed to be resolved and that would help me to "find" MYSELF.

I didn't finish up a few of the things I wanted to do, but I did...

...spend an entire weekend celebrating my son's 5th birthday.

...volunteer in the art program at my daughter's school and hang out with her for lunch to read books.

...give our chickens a cleaner place to sleep.

...start running again and start swimming laps.

...have some inspiring and important conversations with my wife.

And...

...I understood better that becoming MY Best ME is an ongoing process. As long as I become a Better ME each day I'm doing my job.

So, I'm going to follow my wife's wise counsel and make the month a little longer. I'll tack on a few extra days finish up my projects and tie up loose ends. Then I'll move forward and check in with my challenge for March.