Training Wheels

First, an apology.

I told you I would be sharing the incredible experiences I had during my 6 week hiatus.

Well... I've gone back and forth on this, started writing the post, stopped to write other posts, come back to write some more... and I've decided it's not time to share this story yet.

For a couple reasons.

New insight and perspective are bringing those experiences into better focus and giving them more dimension and deeper meaning. I'm letting it all soak in.

And

I feel like I need to share this story in a different way before I blog it. It's really more of an in person message so I'm working a few people to make that happen.

Interested? Let me know and we'll make it happen.

One thing I will share is this,

It's high time I took off my training wheels and learned to ride!

My kids love riding their bikes.

We have a huge asphalt playground, otherwise known as the church parking lot, across the street from our house. It is filled with cars on Sunday and for a just few hours a couple nights each week. Other than that its vacant, cleared out, open, and safe. Perfect for kids on bikes.

Earlier this summer I was feeling like a bad dad because I hadn't made the time to teach my 7 year old Valerie and 5 year old Graham how to ride without training wheels. I never really thought much about when was the best time to ditch the rolling crutches until I saw our neighbor girls flying around the parking lot without them. These twin girls are 6 and they have it mastered.

Huh?!?!?!

Wanting to redeem myself I went straight for the tools. 5 minutes later the wheels were off and it was time for our first lesson.

Valerie was really excited and couldn't get to the blacktop fast enough.

Graham went all HULK SMASH on me. He thought I had broken his bike for good. He even called me a "meanie". That's harsh!

Somehow I convinced him it was a good idea and Bicycle 101 was in session.

Taking turns with each kid we cruised around the parking lot. I held the handle bars and just had them keep their feet stationary on the pedals. I wanted them to experience the feeling of not always riding straight up at a ridged 90 degrees from the pavement.

They loved it and couldn't resist the urge to pedal as we rolled forward. I decided this was a sign they were comfortable and ready for the next step.

I held onto the back of their seats to help them get started and to hold them steady as they pedaled around. After a few laps they were both doing great so I loosened my grip and only tightened it when they were had to make sharp turns or were losing balance. Soon I was able to let go completely and just follow close behind.

Valerie picked it up quick. She easily rode for 50 feet at a time and used the brakes to slow to a stop on her own. Impressive!

Graham was struggling to find his balance. He would make it 15 feet at a time before getting the wobbles, toppling over, and getting frustrated.

At this point I gave them both the same advice for different reasons.

Pedal a little faster.

For Valerie it was because I knew she could do it.

For Graham it was because a little more speed would help his his balance.

My logic was foolproof.....

Graham took off like a rocket and never slowed down. He flew around the pavement with a grin on his face somewhere between the Cheshire Cat and Heath Ledger's Joker and screaming like a banshee.

On top of all that he is quickly out growing his bike and looked like a circus clown. he wrecked hard a few times but the adrenaline put him right back on the seat.

Watching this kid made me laugh so hard my face hurt.

Valerie pedaled a little faster, then a little faster, She's got it! I slowed down and let her pull ahead.

My logic was foolish.....

When she realized I was no longer right by her side she panicked. She did not use her brakes, She did not slow to a stop. She turned her wheel a bit too sharp and WHAM!

Game over...

She had rolled out of it surprisingly well and managed to only have small scrapes on her knee and arm. She would be alright. 

But my amazingly intelligent and creative little girl was blessed with powerful emotions that run deep and surface quick. All at once she missed Mom and wanted to go home, She wanted to have some alone time and wanted to sell her bike.

In her mind riding bikes was no longer fun and never would be. She was convinced it was a very dangerous game and that she was "just not made for this".

It has taken a few months but I've finally persuaded her that it is worth trying again. She is making progress but slowly. I've learned to let her take the rains and just be there top provide support and assurance. She'll get it.

My training wheels require a different set of tools and more than a mere 5 minutes to take off.

When it comes to minimalism, simplicity, intentionality, mindfulness, essentialism and so many other related topics I've read just about all there is to read, listened to more than my fare share of podcasts, and watched a hoard of youtube videos. I've gotten to the point where I think I've heard it all.

Sure, I come across new websites and hear about new books but it's all repeat. 

Our family has been on this bike for 5 years now. The first couple we was just cruising along but for the last 3 I have been pedaling like a madman. Frantically trying to cover as much ground as I possibly could not realizing I have been in the lowest gear possible. 

Always learning and dabbling. Never really getting down to business.
 

Don't get me wrong. Our family has made dramatic change. We have gone from living in 4,000 square feet with 5 people to 1,200 square feet with 6 people. We have eliminated mountains of physical excess, debt, and resentment from our lives. We spend more meaningful time together as a family. We eat more healthfully and are more active physically. I work from home and love it. I bring in $1,000 dollars less each month yet we are saving $1,000 dollars more for our future.

Amazing progress! No doubt about it.

We've been riding in the low gear of reading and listening and analyzing and planning and wanting everything to go smoothly and not wanting to fall and.... and.... and... all without realizing that the road has changed. The training wheels that held us steady and helped us to gain speed as we began this journey are now holding us back. Not allowing us to lean into the turns and keep our momentum.

Get to the point Brandon!!! What does all this mean???

My toolkit is simple. It's called Unsubscribe.

I've clicked the Unsubscribe button on all my favorite blogs, podcasts, and youtube channels and I'm deleting all the unread or un listened to alerts in my email inbox.

As much as I have loved all this instructional reading and listening it was surprisingly easy clicking. I owe a lot to the people do the writing and recording. It is amazing content and I've soaked it up.

The problem is my sponge is full and can't take anymore. I need to let it out and do. I need to BE!
 

"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi

I'm beyond convinced that simplicity is what I need. It is what our family needs. It is what our not so small anymore town needs. And our nation, and the world.

I have been given experiences and insight that need to be shared. Am I going to change the world? Doubtfull. But If I change MY world and change the world for my family it starts a fire. People notice. They see the smoke and flames and come running.

They may think something is wrong. Why are you doing this? You had it made! And now, you have nothing! Do you need help? Do you need money? Do you need furniture?....

No. Thank you, but no. We are doing great.

The fire starts small but it spreads quickly. Every time we say no to the expected in order to say yes to something greater. Every time we share, every time we explain, every time we listen.

I'm sure we will experience aspects what each of my kids felt as they have learned to ride their bikes. It will be unsteady and a bit scary. We will fall and get roadrash and IT WILL HURT! But we will get back up again and ride.

Personally I have felt so much support and guidance the past little while. From God above and from the incredible people in my life. They are holding the seat for us!

It's time to ditch the training wheels, throw caution to the wind and pedal a little faster.