Training Wheels

First, an apology.

I told you I would be sharing the incredible experiences I had during my 6 week hiatus.

Well... I've gone back and forth on this, started writing the post, stopped to write other posts, come back to write some more... and I've decided it's not time to share this story yet.

For a couple reasons.

New insight and perspective are bringing those experiences into better focus and giving them more dimension and deeper meaning. I'm letting it all soak in.

And

I feel like I need to share this story in a different way before I blog it. It's really more of an in person message so I'm working a few people to make that happen.

Interested? Let me know and we'll make it happen.

One thing I will share is this,

It's high time I took off my training wheels and learned to ride!

My kids love riding their bikes.

We have a huge asphalt playground, otherwise known as the church parking lot, across the street from our house. It is filled with cars on Sunday and for a just few hours a couple nights each week. Other than that its vacant, cleared out, open, and safe. Perfect for kids on bikes.

Earlier this summer I was feeling like a bad dad because I hadn't made the time to teach my 7 year old Valerie and 5 year old Graham how to ride without training wheels. I never really thought much about when was the best time to ditch the rolling crutches until I saw our neighbor girls flying around the parking lot without them. These twin girls are 6 and they have it mastered.

Huh?!?!?!

Wanting to redeem myself I went straight for the tools. 5 minutes later the wheels were off and it was time for our first lesson.

Valerie was really excited and couldn't get to the blacktop fast enough.

Graham went all HULK SMASH on me. He thought I had broken his bike for good. He even called me a "meanie". That's harsh!

Somehow I convinced him it was a good idea and Bicycle 101 was in session.

Taking turns with each kid we cruised around the parking lot. I held the handle bars and just had them keep their feet stationary on the pedals. I wanted them to experience the feeling of not always riding straight up at a ridged 90 degrees from the pavement.

They loved it and couldn't resist the urge to pedal as we rolled forward. I decided this was a sign they were comfortable and ready for the next step.

I held onto the back of their seats to help them get started and to hold them steady as they pedaled around. After a few laps they were both doing great so I loosened my grip and only tightened it when they were had to make sharp turns or were losing balance. Soon I was able to let go completely and just follow close behind.

Valerie picked it up quick. She easily rode for 50 feet at a time and used the brakes to slow to a stop on her own. Impressive!

Graham was struggling to find his balance. He would make it 15 feet at a time before getting the wobbles, toppling over, and getting frustrated.

At this point I gave them both the same advice for different reasons.

Pedal a little faster.

For Valerie it was because I knew she could do it.

For Graham it was because a little more speed would help his his balance.

My logic was foolproof.....

Graham took off like a rocket and never slowed down. He flew around the pavement with a grin on his face somewhere between the Cheshire Cat and Heath Ledger's Joker and screaming like a banshee.

On top of all that he is quickly out growing his bike and looked like a circus clown. he wrecked hard a few times but the adrenaline put him right back on the seat.

Watching this kid made me laugh so hard my face hurt.

Valerie pedaled a little faster, then a little faster, She's got it! I slowed down and let her pull ahead.

My logic was foolish.....

When she realized I was no longer right by her side she panicked. She did not use her brakes, She did not slow to a stop. She turned her wheel a bit too sharp and WHAM!

Game over...

She had rolled out of it surprisingly well and managed to only have small scrapes on her knee and arm. She would be alright. 

But my amazingly intelligent and creative little girl was blessed with powerful emotions that run deep and surface quick. All at once she missed Mom and wanted to go home, She wanted to have some alone time and wanted to sell her bike.

In her mind riding bikes was no longer fun and never would be. She was convinced it was a very dangerous game and that she was "just not made for this".

It has taken a few months but I've finally persuaded her that it is worth trying again. She is making progress but slowly. I've learned to let her take the rains and just be there top provide support and assurance. She'll get it.

My training wheels require a different set of tools and more than a mere 5 minutes to take off.

When it comes to minimalism, simplicity, intentionality, mindfulness, essentialism and so many other related topics I've read just about all there is to read, listened to more than my fare share of podcasts, and watched a hoard of youtube videos. I've gotten to the point where I think I've heard it all.

Sure, I come across new websites and hear about new books but it's all repeat. 

Our family has been on this bike for 5 years now. The first couple we was just cruising along but for the last 3 I have been pedaling like a madman. Frantically trying to cover as much ground as I possibly could not realizing I have been in the lowest gear possible. 

Always learning and dabbling. Never really getting down to business.
 

Don't get me wrong. Our family has made dramatic change. We have gone from living in 4,000 square feet with 5 people to 1,200 square feet with 6 people. We have eliminated mountains of physical excess, debt, and resentment from our lives. We spend more meaningful time together as a family. We eat more healthfully and are more active physically. I work from home and love it. I bring in $1,000 dollars less each month yet we are saving $1,000 dollars more for our future.

Amazing progress! No doubt about it.

We've been riding in the low gear of reading and listening and analyzing and planning and wanting everything to go smoothly and not wanting to fall and.... and.... and... all without realizing that the road has changed. The training wheels that held us steady and helped us to gain speed as we began this journey are now holding us back. Not allowing us to lean into the turns and keep our momentum.

Get to the point Brandon!!! What does all this mean???

My toolkit is simple. It's called Unsubscribe.

I've clicked the Unsubscribe button on all my favorite blogs, podcasts, and youtube channels and I'm deleting all the unread or un listened to alerts in my email inbox.

As much as I have loved all this instructional reading and listening it was surprisingly easy clicking. I owe a lot to the people do the writing and recording. It is amazing content and I've soaked it up.

The problem is my sponge is full and can't take anymore. I need to let it out and do. I need to BE!
 

"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi

I'm beyond convinced that simplicity is what I need. It is what our family needs. It is what our not so small anymore town needs. And our nation, and the world.

I have been given experiences and insight that need to be shared. Am I going to change the world? Doubtfull. But If I change MY world and change the world for my family it starts a fire. People notice. They see the smoke and flames and come running.

They may think something is wrong. Why are you doing this? You had it made! And now, you have nothing! Do you need help? Do you need money? Do you need furniture?....

No. Thank you, but no. We are doing great.

The fire starts small but it spreads quickly. Every time we say no to the expected in order to say yes to something greater. Every time we share, every time we explain, every time we listen.

I'm sure we will experience aspects what each of my kids felt as they have learned to ride their bikes. It will be unsteady and a bit scary. We will fall and get roadrash and IT WILL HURT! But we will get back up again and ride.

Personally I have felt so much support and guidance the past little while. From God above and from the incredible people in my life. They are holding the seat for us!

It's time to ditch the training wheels, throw caution to the wind and pedal a little faster.

 

The Little Red Hen - or - Super Glue and God's Grace

LONG POST TODAY

I have been super excited to share my experiences of the past 6 or so weeks. What a ride!

I had planned to begin telling the story today but this morning I really felt I needed to write about something different yet somehow in my mind related.


Lately I have felt a very strong connection with the incredible world around me. I have been thinking about how much I love living in a place with such a variety of natural environments. I can get in a car and within a few hours enjoy everything from red sandstone arches and nordic mountain glaciers.

I've been able to see so many of gods creatures in their natural environment. Fish, snakes, frogs, rabbits, deer, moose, mountain goats... truly amazing creatures.

I have been thinking a lot about the stewardship we have been given to care for this creation. To conserve and preserve. Are we doing a good job? I'm not going to open that can of worms. Not today.

I have been able to see the convergence of our world with theirs. It is not uncommon to see some of these wild characters in and around my community. We live in an agricultural community so there are also plenty of cattle, sheep, horses, pigs, and chickens.



I've already introduced you to our chickens. My very first post was about chickens. They inspired me write the first words. It is interesting how much you can learn from these creatures. It is amazing how like us they really are.

We are responsible for the care of these funny birds. We do provide a warm and safe place to stay, and feed and water to supplement their foraging efforts but for the most part they are self sufficient.

This scrappy pack of 12 sisters owns the back yard. During the day they chase each other around, eat bugs and plants, dust bathe, and poop all over the place. They are essentially free to do as they will. They are able to fly over the 5' perimeter fence and sometimes do. but they always come back.

When the day is done and the sun goes down the ladies make their way back to the coop and put themselves to bed. After our kids are in bed (for some reason they don't put themselves to bed like the chickens do) Ali or I will go out to the coop to do a headcount, collect eggs, and secure their home.

I converted one of the garden sheds in our back yard into a coop by adding a chicken door with a gravity closer mechanism (I'm pretty proud of my ingenuity on this one) and a chicken ladder to the ground outside. I also built a raised wire mesh floor to keep them up out of the dirt and toilet. The original shed man door does not stay open without being propped so we always let them out through theirs. They can come and go as they please to lay eggs or get out of the heat.

One day about 3 weeks ago the chicken door was closed at some point. No big deal, It's happened before and the girls just line up outside waiting patiently for us to come out for the headcount.

Well, that night I forgot to go out. We had watched a movie and ended up getting to bed pretty late. My head had barely hit the pillow when I heard all kinds of commotion coming from outside. I realized I had not closed up the coop so I somewhat resentfully rolled out of bed and started to get dressed again. I heard the noise again, this time accompanied by a screams of terror. Something was attacking our chickens! So I ran/dressed to the back yard trying to get the stupid flashlight app on my phone to work.

I burst out the door into the silent night. Nothing. I scanned around a few times. Nothing.

As I started walking back to check the coop my eye caught the tiny reflection of a chicken's eye about halfway back in the yard. I approached the little red hen and she wasn't moving. I got closer and could see that she was alert and sitting calmly. Oh good, she's fine.

I went back to check on the others.

1,2,3,4,5...!

5+1=6!

12-6=6!

6 chickens were missing!

I herded those 5 frazzled chickens into the coop and searched the yard hoping the others had found somewhere safe to bed down and hide. Nothing. I searched everywhere without any sign of them. They had probably gone over the fence. and would make their way back when they felt safe.

I went back to the chicken I had found in the yard and she hadn't moved at all. Strange! I picked her up to take her back to the coop and she was wet. Not cold, water type wet. Warm wet. Oh no!  I carried her into the house and doing my best to stay calm I found my very tired and still very pregnant wife to help me. It wasn't until we got her into the kitchen and started to clean her up that I realized the severity of her condition.

This is graphic but i don't know how else to tell the story.

Something, probably a skunk or a raccoon, had slit her throat. The laceration was about 4 inches long and all the way through the skin.  Starting at the base of the front of her neck and going around clockwise and rising up to the left side of her head and her little chicken ear. My first thought. Put this poor creature out of its misery. But I had a very strong and calming feeling that this chicken would live. I said one of those very simple and direct 2 second prayers.

What do I do?

Super glue!

My grandpa had once told me super glue was invented for the military. When a soldier was wounded in battle and there wasn't time or equipment to close up a wound in a more traditional way.

It should work, right?

I felt horrible for doing this but I saw no other option. I sent my 9 month pregnant wife to the store at 11:00 at night to find some super glue.

I do a lot better than she does with blood and guts and I was going to have to do the prep work while she was gone. Using scissors I cut back the feathers near the wound, cleaned it up, and planned how I was going to put her back together. The cut was an L shape so I figured I would start at the corner and work my way back to the edges.

Ali got back and we went to work. She held the chicken and I started to glue.

I have used super glue to close a few of my own self inflicted injuries over the years and it is not the most pleasant sensation. This chicken was relatively calm and cooperative throughout the process. She was probably in shock but I think she also knew that we were trying to help her.

After the wound was all closed up and we had put some antibiotic ointment on her neck I was prompted that I was supposed to do something that I had never before considered.

I was supposed to give this chicken a priesthood blessing.

This was my internal monologue, no joke.

Seriously? Can I do that? Oh man, I'm going to lose my priesthood over this!

I anointed the birds head with consecrated oil and did everything I would do if ministering to a human. It was one of the most humbling and spiritual experiences I can remember.

I know that God's loving grace fully applies to all of his creation.

For the next several days this little lady seriously struggled. She would hardly move. She wouldn't eat or drink and we resorted to force feeding her with a medicine syringe. She stopped laying eggs which for me was a sign she was pretty messed up. It wasn't looking good for her.

Then as we began to consider the options and talk about the humane and responsible course of action she started to improve. Within a few days she was moving around more, eating on her own, making noise and being just about as annoying as ever.

This morning she laid her first egg in weeks and we are testing the waters of letting her go back to living with her sisters.



Sometimes we are called upon or feel inspired to do things that just don't make sense. Things that we have never done before or even considered. We may be required to step out of our comfort zone and our realm of knowledge . We may not do a great job or even fail miserably.

And that's ok.

The important thing is that we are willing to act. That we are willing to throw all logic to the wind and exercise faith.

This simple principle is at the core of what I define as "Burning the Script". Going against the grain of what we are comfortable with. Questioning for ourselves societal norms and expectations. Taking a huge leap of faith and relying on grace to guide us in creating a life worth living.

Greater Than Us All

I'm ready to write again.

I need to write again!

After a month and a half roller-coaster ride of beautiful highs and desparing lows I have finally come to a point where I'm not digging my fingernails into the lap bar.

And, the truth is I am still feeling the adrenaline and am way to emotional to get anything else done.

I've wanted to write. I really really have. I've struggled with feeling focused, engaged and stable enough to write something of substance and value.

I want to provide something of worth and I keep asking myself

Do people really want to read/hear what I have to share?

This past week I've had a few experiences that have reminded me that this is really not MY question to answer. It's really not MY place to even worry about it.

The message I am sharing is not MY own. It is a part of something so much bigger!

Sure, I'm sharing mostly stories and insights from my own life but the message goes way beyond ME. I hope it's not too difficult to see that through my ramblings.

I'll continue writing through MY lens because it's what I know. In the next few posts I'll share these recent experiences because they were a solid confirmation that this is a message that needs to be heard.

I'm going to write again.