Infirmary Exodus - The Cure is Simple

The week and a half since my last post has been filled with family activities, hundreds of miles of driving, getting caught up on projects, a 17 mile trail run (my personal non-pavement distance record) and being sick, SICK, SICK!

I'm lucky to not get sick very often but when I do it hits me like a freight train and is gone just as quick. The advice to "take it easy and get plenty of rest" doesn't work for me. I go mental! I must have been abducted by aliens as a child because my wiring often goes against all logic. When I'm sick or feeling down I have to be active and power through. I think this drives my wife insane. She wants me to slow down and let her take care of me. I want to clean the entire house and go fishing.

This episode of Sick Man is brought to you by my 17 mile run.

I wasn't prepared for it. I had done my mileage and was ready for the distance. With all our activities and go-go-go, I have been eating a lot of foods my body isn't used to. Not sleeping in the same bed more than 2 nights in a row has definitely taken it's toll as well. My immune system as been compromised and I've been down for the count.

A lot of this down time has been spent reflecting on the story that I've shared with you so far. It has been interesting to look back on the last few years and be reminded of the experiences we have had.

I have been overwhelmed with gratitude as I've had the opportunity to talk to several people who have been following this blog. It's great to have so many people from our new Heber Valley community show interest. It has been humbling to hear powerful stories from other people on similar journeys, receive feedback about what I am writing, and answer some of the questions you have.

A few of these questions have given me a lot to think about. I've wanted to share some of this with you but haven't known the best way to go about it. The past few days of feeling like trash have helped me pull my thoughts together.

From time to time everyone gets sick. We get sick for different reasons and handle it in very different ways. Some people (myself included) deny the fact they aren't doing well and try to proceed with life as best they can. Others medicate. They throw down heavy doses of Airborne, decongestants, pain meds and pass out. Others take it easy. They might have a movie marathon and eat soup.

Casting aside the obvious pros and cons of each method of getting there we all want to feel better. We have different thoughts on how to make it happen. A lot if this is based on how we were raised, and information we are given from family, friends

The truth is, most of us have been sick in a different way. And strangely enough it's because we have followed the doctor's orders.

We have been sticking to THE SCRIPT.

Society is a cruel practitioner. It would have us believe that spending our time, energy, and resources in pursuit of things that just don't matter is an honorable thing. Slaving away in jobs that don't inspire or challenge us in order to afford oversized houses filled with "stuff" that we don't really need or care about is something to strive for. That the worth of a person is somehow measured by the emblems on their vehicles or the tags sewn into and embossed on what they wear. That in our endless drive to upgrade and replace we make ourselves blind to those in need.

This is a prescription for disaster.

Just like eating Popeye's chicken and getting 5 1/2" hours sleep the night before a long run made me sick, feeding our lives this load of bull is killing us. Which areas of the world have the highest rates of cancer, diabetes, stress, depression, anxiety.....? It's those countries and regions who are said to have the "highest standard of living". Sadly, The United States of America is at or near the top of every list.

More primitive areas of the world have their own epidemics and challenges to overcome. Millions of people die each year from hunger and disease. What's the difference? Their suffering is brought on by environment and lack of resources. Most of ours can be attributed to our chosen lifestyle of excess.

So what IS the cure?

SIMPLICITY

I am not suggesting that everyone quit (or get themselves fired from) their jobs, sell everything they own, and live in the woods subsiding on pine nuts and wild salmon. Many people live this type of life and absolutely love it. It would be amazing and I would do it for a month or 2 but then I would start to miss other things I am passionate about. I think most people would.

The prescription for SIMPLICITY looks different to each person. SIMPLICITY means trimming the fat on life. SIMPLICITY means saying no to some things in order to say YES to others. SIMPLICITY means not missing out on spending time with people we love because we are too busy catching up on social media. SIMPLICITY means declining the overtime hours so we can make it to our kids soccer game. SIMPLICITY means....

What would a life of SIMPLICITY look like to you?

 

How would you live MORE?

I really want to know. Please share.

Right Sizing - Part 5 - Making the Move, Outside the Box

Over the next few days all I could think about was this little, old, decrepit house up in Heber. I had already been getting only 4 to 5 hours of sleep each night and this made it worse. I couldn't get it out of my mind. What was it about this house? Why did it "feel right"!?!?

We decided to make a low offer and see what happened. We looked at the potential value of the home after repairs and updates and the estimated cost to make these things happen. If we did it right we would still come out very well.

The response came quickly. They accepted the offer and we were under contract.

Once again my mind was off to the races. Time to design. Time to plan. Time to pack. Time to move. Oh no! Were we doing the right thing? Were we absolutely insane!

During the due-diligence period I had people come out to inspect the home and provide estimates to do the necessary structural work. Because the house was built on 3 separate foundations and was settling in every direction it would be very difficult  to stabilize it. Because of the way the structure was pulled together there was also a good chance this movement would cause it to crumble.

The cost to try? An estimated $60,000!

This was only cost to lift the house, pour a proper foundation and lower it back down. No additional renovations and updates included and no guarantees we would even have a house left standing.

Best Case Scenario: Lifting the house would go without any major problems. We would be smart about the other renovations and the project would be completed within budget.

Worst Case Scenario: The lift fails. We are out an additional 60k are left with a condemned old house and no place to stay.

At this point everything screamed to cut our losses and once again RUN. But, as crazy as it may sound, this option still didn't feel right. But what other options were there? Because of the structural state of the home and cost to correct it there was no real value in the building itself.

But the land was incredible. A large lot in the center of town with beautiful mature trees. There was so much potential to create an amazing place for our family to live, grow, and create memories.

What if....? No way, it would never work... Scratch that idea... They would never go for it... It's a waste of time...

What if we were to somehow reduce our offer to reflect only the value of the land?

We could live in the house for a while then demo the existing and build new. It would end up costing less than the possible disaster project and we would have the house we really wanted. We could even salvage the original cabin structure and other materials rebuild it as part of the new home. We could preserve history and have an amazing house with a story.

But could it even be done at this point in our contract?

It was time to ask the real-estate agent (Dad). He said it could definitely be done. It was a long shot but we decided to go for it. We did some digging to determine the market value of the land. We put together documentation from my inspections and construction estimates to support the true value of the property. He put together an addendum to adjust the price and we crossed our fingers.

IT WORKED!

We paid cash from the sale of our monster house and closed on the property.

Over the next month we got the house ready for our family. We cleared out mountains of artifacts from the homes previous life. We swept and mopped and scrubbed out years of nasty. I spent my weekends camped out at the house making small repairs and making 3 bedrooms out of 2 (more on this later).

On December 28, 2013 we once again loaded the 26 foot UHAUL and headed East on I-80.

6 months later we are settling into an amazing new life. We have really enjoyed getting to know our new community and have met some amazing people. I work from home and spend a lot more time with my family. We go on hikes, we fish, we read, we run. We have our chickens, our garden, and a garage that is slowly clearing out (maybe one day we will actually use it for vehicles).

The house is not perfect. It smells weird. There is no storage space. It was drafty in the winter and is getting hotter each day this summer. But it works. It's an adventure.

We will build when we are ready and it makes sense. For now, we are 100% debt free and are loving the freedom of this simplicity.

Right Sizing - Part 4 - The Tree Hugger in Me

Letting the contract expire on the Copperton house was a hard thing for me to do. I had a lot of time invested in the renovation design and the logistics of making everything work out. My dad (our real-estate agent) had dedicated countless hours to dealing with the crazies on the other end of the deal. I really wanted it to work out. It felt like the right move for our family, It just wasn't happening.

We started looking again. This time we had different goals, purpose and vision. We wanted a place that would better suit the needs and evolving lifestyle of our family. Copperton is definitely a beautiful place, but it has recently become more of a subdivision than a true neighborhood community. It does have an amazing park, a post office, a fire station and churches but the schools, markets and other businesses had been either torn down or closed up shop. We wanted a more sustainable community. We wanted to be closer to things we needed. We wanted to be in an area with good schools for our kids. We wanted for a large garden and a chicken run.

We quickly realized that the homes meeting this criteria in the Salt Lake valley did not allow us to meet our other goal of reducing our monthly mortgage responsibility. So we expanded our search to Utah and Davis Counties and even looked a little in Weber County.

We were planning a trip down to look at some homes in American Fork and Springville when a house in Heber City came up on the radar. I almost ignored the listing but decided to check it out. It had potential and was priced right so we added it to the list.

After driving down to check out the homes in Utah County we made the trip up Provo Canyon. As we rounded the south side of Deer Creek Reservoir we hit a horrible bumper to bumper traffic jam. Kids don't like being stuck in a car and neither do I. We almost turned back a few times but stuck with it and eventually pulled up to the house.

My first impression was WOW! This is it! If you know me well you know that I LOVE TREES. And this house had them. Moving from a brand new neighborhood with about 2 trees I felt like I was in a forest. The house was classic, plain, and simple. No frills but tons of charm and character.

As soon as we walked through the front door we noticed something strange. The floor in the front room had a very noticeable slope from one end to the other. Probably 3 inches overall. It was like one of those old V8 Juice commercials where everyone is walking sideways. 

We had seen the listing pictures so we knew that the Kitchen, flooring and paint would all need to be re-done so we were prepared for that. But the structure didn't make sense.  There were areas with 18" thick walls and small steps between rooms.

I climbed up the steep stairway to the attic. This low ceiling room with creaky floors was the coolest space in the house. There was a hole in the wall so I went through to investigate. I discovered that the house was actually more than 1 house. The original structure was a beautiful hewn log cabin. At some point a farmhouse had been moved from another location and set up close to but not touching the cabin. Later on a kitchen wing was added at the rear of the home. We learned that the cabin portion had a good stone foundation but the other areas were supported by on grade footings.

It was time to check out the back yard. WOW AGAIN! I thought there were a lot of trees in the front yard but this place was amazing. Tons of beautiful trees and large open spaces. My mind instantly went to work on ideas of how to make it our own. Outdoor living spaces, play areas for the kids, Our big garden and chicken run. there was space for everything.

But the house was  a wreck. It was sinking into the ground! How much would this cost to fix? What other problems would we find along the way. It was a nightmare.

We stopped at the local favorite Dairy Keen but I couldn't eat my burger. Everything about this house felt perfect except for the house. Kind of a big deal.


To be continued... (sorry, 1 more episode)

Right Sizing - Part 3 - Quick, Quick, Sloooooooow...

As we dove into the purging and simplification process we could see how daunting a task it was going to be. It can be very difficult to get rid of things that you paid good money for or that hold sentimental value. but we were committed to making it happen.

As time went on I became more and more frustrated and dissatisfied with the situation at work. I realized it was time to pull the trigger and pursue my long time dream of self employment. I had been designing homes for several years working in architectural offices and doing freelance work when I could fit it in. Now it was time for me to focus on it full time.

Ali and I put together an exit strategy that would allow me to leave my job in 6 months. I designated July, 1 2013 as my Independence Day. I had a lot to accomplish in a short amount of time. Design projects started coming to me out of nowhere. Everything was falling into place.

As part of this plan we started looking into real-estate investment opportunities. The plan was to find houses with good bones but in poor and out dated aesthetic condition. I would re-design the layouts for more efficient use of space and do interior and exterior renovations to update the homes. we would either hold onto them as rental properties or re-sell them and use the profits as seed money. It was the perfect way to get my name out there and get my business off the ground.

After looking at several homes we found a small bungalow in Copperton. if you don't know where that is it's a very small town tucked up next to the Kennecott Copper mine on Salt Lake's West bench. I've always had a love for well established neighborhoods and passion for old homes. This one needed a lot of work, but the price was right and there was definitely money to be made. We put in a very low offer and it was accepted. Things started moving quickly. We were scheduled to close in a few short weeks and I began to plan for the renovation.

As I got into the project and started seeing all the possibilities I saw what this old house could become. Half joking I asked my wife "What if we don't sell this house after the renovations are made? What if we live in it?" "Yeah, I don't think so" was her first response, but soon she started asking question after question. As we talked about it more we both saw how great an opportunity this could be for our family and the new life we wanted to create.

We listed our house FSBO and it was under contract in a couple weeks. The proceeds from the sale of this home would cover the real-estate fees and most of the renovation. I began to look for short term financing to make up the difference. It was an absolute fiasco! The lenders could not believe that anyone in their right mind would want to walk away from a beautiful, brand new, 4,000 square foot home to live in a much smaller, older home.

We would have to use some very creative (yes, legal) financing to make it happen.

Then, everything came to a screeching halt.

The sellers of this house had several bankruptcies, leans and other judgments against them and it was going to take a while to clear things up. A month tops we were told. This would compact our renovation schedule and we would have to be somewhere temporary for a little longer. But we loved this little old house and were excited to tear into it and make it our home. It was worth the wait.

That was the end of May of last year. On June 6th I lost my job. This was frustrating because a lot of people had the impression that we were moving out of financial necessity. It was all part of the plan, my freedom had just been expedited. We closed on our house and moved into a small 2 bedroom apartment down the road from our new home. It was tight for a family of 5. Our 2 older kids shared the small bedroom and our youngest shared the master closet with our clothes.

By October we were still waiting. And waiting, and waiting....... Each month we had to sign an extension to the real-estate contract and were always told it would be "soon". Because we thought things would move quickly we didn't sign a long term lease and were paying ridiculously high rent on the apartment. my design projects dried up for a couple months and we were digging into our renovation savings. It was not a good situation.

Ali came to me several times saying enough is enough, time to cut our losses, move on, and find another home. She believed that finding this house we had been waiting for was an inspired way of getting us to move. I was reluctant at first but agreed to start looking again.

To be continued......

Right Sizing - Part 2 - Not Crazy... Hey, Let's Go Ride Bikes!

As I focused more and more on the life I wanted to live I began making token efforts to simplify and focus on the things that mattered most. My relationships, my physical health, and my overall happiness. On the outside things looked great. My son Graham was born a week after we moved We were making tons of friends in our new neighborhood,  I ran a full marathon. A 26.2 mile run is something I never thought I would accomplish.

The reality, I was absolutely miserable. It didn't make sense. I had everything I had always wanted and I hated it! I was working extra hours to pay the mortgage and other bills. I was making a lot more but somehow most months we were still living paycheck to paycheck. We had been in our new home for about a year and our stuff had again grown into our house and all the excess space was gone. Every room was filled with our "precious possessions" and the cracks were filled with nonsense. Even the unfinished basement and 3 car garage were bursting at the seams.

I was doing a pretty good job of making everyone else miserable too. Ali and I were not getting along. Trying to keep up with the housework, mischievous toddler, baby, and dog was keeping her very busy. The untidy state of the house caused me to feel like I was suffocating. I had these Mr Hyde episodes of panic and rage and our marriage was hanging by a thread.

I was losing my mind!

Thinking I should probably be admitted to a place with padded walls and rubber spoons I went to see a doctor. A "specialist" if you will.

I arrived for my appointment, paced around the waiting room and looked at outdated magazines and medical journals. Then they called my name. It was my turn and I froze. Only for a second but I froze and the thought crossed my mind "What if I am really insane?" I snapped out of it and went through the open door.

I was greeted by a young doctor who looked like M. Night Shayamalan. I sat down and we had casual small talk for a minute then he jumped into doctor mode and asked me why I was there to see him. Well, as I already told you on the million forms I had to fill out in your waiting room, I am losing my mind and making life miserable. I told him how I felt like I was being strangled and there was nothing I could do about it. This dialogue continued with questions about my childhood, my sleep habits, my relationships, my interests.... everything imaginable and it went on forever!

After this intense evaluation he told me that I was definitely dealing with moderate depression and anxiety but that they weren't his main concern. He said "Brandon, from our conversations it is evident to me that the depression and anxiety you are experiencing now and have dealt with throughout your life are being caused by untreated Attention Deficit Disorder".

I chuckled, he gave me a strange look then there was an awkward silence that lasted way too long.

He continued" I can't make an official diagnosis until we do a few more valuations and the depression is under control which is difficult because your ADD is the catalyst. That said, I have seen enough of this to tell you that it is there".

At this point I was just confused. ADD was something I had joked about with my friends in high school. It wasn't real. It was an excuse for absent minded people.

"So...what do I do?"

"Well, the benefit of diagnosis would be proper treatment and the option to prescribe medication, but I don't feel that's the right option in your case".

Then he said of the most profound things I have ever heard. It wasn't anything new but it was the context and the way he explained it. What it boiled down to....

SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE!

I could not see my life through the chaos I had created. He recommended eliminating anything and everything I could from my life that I wasn't passionate about. he said "still pay your bills and brush your teeth, but kill all the distractions of possessions, time wasters, and even relationships that don't add value to and enrich your life".

He gave me a prescription for an anti-depressant and asked me to set an appointment to come back in 2 weeks.

I left his office and drove home feeling like I was on another planet. Everything was strange but so many things now made sense. Why I had struggled with certain subjects in school and assignments at work while I excelled at others. Why in conversation I would finish people's sentences if I felt they weren't getting to the point. Why the distraction of clutter was literally killing me.

So many things were going through my mind at that time. Like watching 50 TV channels at once. If you have ADD or another superpower you know what I'm talking about and it's not cool. It's horrible!

I had to pull over to clear my head.

What this doctor had told me made perfect sense. It was great because now I understood myself a little better and had direction. But how was I going to do it?  I was about the least organized person on the planet. An absolute train wreck!

I went home and shared my experience with the wife. I told her the things the doctor had said and his recommendations. She agreed that these changes were long overdue and said she was willing to help make it happen.

I threw away the anti-depressant prescription and cancelled my return visit to crazy town and we went to work. We had a huge mountain to climb, but who better to climb it with?

To be continued...

Right Sizing - Part 1 - Screw the Joneses!

Yes, I hate them!

No, I’m not talking about the amazing family who were our neighbors for a few years.

Keeping up with the Joneses.

Sadly for most of us the standard measure for success has become the $. How much money we can make and what we do with it. Our culture has led us to believe that more is better. That bigger is better. In order to be viewed as successful we need to have more.

Our lives have been planned out and geared towards the goal of making it big and being successful. From a very young age we are shown the path. We’re told what to do and what not to do. In junior and senior high school the insanity begins. If you want to be successful wear these clothes, cut your hair like this, talk this way, make these friends, and join these clubs. And because that’s not already enough we are told it’s high time we start thinking about we want to do with our lives.

Which career will get you the highest paying job? What is the most impressive school for this field? What are their admission requirements? Did you score high enough on the standardized test?  Are you good enough?

This is “The Script”

Like most people I bought into it. I’ve done what we are all expected to do. Go to school (kindof), start a career, get married, have kids, buy things….

I was on the right track, moving up in “important” roles in the company. Part of my job description was sitting in pointless meeting after meeting where nothing was accomplished and against the grain thinking was often smothered. I would just sit there staring at the wall or out the window thinking “how did I get here?!?! Why am I doing this?!?!”

I had been spending a lot of time reading books about success and how got achieve it. How to do more of the work you don’t enjoy so you can have more $ so you can buy more of the things that don’t really need or care about. It all seemed so fake and meaningless!

Why did I put myself through this? Because it was the “right thing to do”. It was in the script.

Another line in this script reads “when you become more successful, you upgrade”

Time for a newer bigger house. At the time we were a family of 3 living in 2,500 square feet. More than enough space for our family. But our stuff had outgrown it and we were feeling cramped. We didn’t have to justify the decision, society had done that for us. Remember, We were moving up in life. I had a great job and we were making pretty decent $, my family was growing, and on top of that we were getting a killer deal on the real estate. We knew it was way more space than we needed but our needs would change over time and we would grow into it. It’s a great investment for our future, right? We deserve it, right?

About the time we pulled the trigger to build this home I moved into a new role at work. My job was to improve and simplify manufacturing and office processes. To observe and identify aspects of a process that don’t add real value to the product and work to reduce or eliminate it.

So much of what I was learning and doing applied to life!

I started reading different books and learning new things. The more I got into it the more I realized, hey, this applies to life! We spend so much time focusing on things that just don’t matter, things that don’t add real value or enrich our lives.

I began to pay more attention to the people I knew who were doing incredible things with their lives. These people are entrepreneurs, outdoor enthusiasts, artists, activists, educators, volunteers, travelers, parents and grandparents. They have this non-conformist attitude toward the script. They love life and are actively engaged in the pursuit of things they were passionate about. They value their relationships and experiences over money and possessions.

Something I noticed about these amazing people was that most of them lived very simply. Regardless of their financial status they didn’t carry a lot of baggage in this life. They didn’t subscribe to the idea that bigger is better. They were intrinsically motivated to live.

I wanted it!

To be continued….

The Back Story

Pause - Rewind.

June 6th, 2013 was a momentous day for me. A turning point. but it was definitely not the beginning. I had already spent the past few years in agony and frustration on a quest for sanity. That day was a catalyst for the future.

Over the next few posts I'm going to give you the backstory and set the stage for this what I write about in the future. I wish I had started sooner. So much has happened and I know I'll leave things out. Hopefully nothing too important.

Those of you who know me personally may be surprised with some of the things I share. Other things will be old news.

Press play!